My husband and I both work from home full-time. So we see each other a lot. I am an introvert and need a lot of alone time, and social interaction takes a lot out of me, even if it’s just with my husband or other close family. Also, we’re busy- I’m either in work-mode or Mom-mode most of my waking hours, or I am getting some precious alone time. My husband is big into touch, I think it’s his main love language. I would say that touch is last on my list of love languages. He tends to touch me or hug me (in a non-sexual way), multiple times per day. Like if I am headed downstairs to get coffee and I see him, he wants to briefly touch or hug. It’s kind of like how you would get stopped for some water-cooler talk if you worked in the office, except it’s a moment of intimacy or a hug. It’s a sweet bid for intimacy, I get that- it’s nice in theory. But I’m super introverted and sensitive, and touching takes energy for me. We can definitely talk about it, we have solid communication and he is very receptive (as am I, I think), but I have not brought it up yet. I just wanted some perspective and insight from strangers to help me think through how to balance my needs and his needs. Should I suggest that we hug and kiss in the morning, and then have at least one solid cuddle session in the evening, and generally NOT hug during work hours? Am I a jerk? Any advice on how to handle this?

3 comments
  1. I don’t think you’re a jerk at all.
    But I also think it’s so sweet to have a husband so into his wife he yearns to touch her. I read so many stories on here of women begging for a little attention/affection from their husbands.
    I’m not saying that you need to let him touch you at all times. I think talking to him about compromise would work. As long as you both feel your needs are being met.

  2. I get it, I really do… But I’m curious, if your waking hours are taken by work mode, mom mode and alone time….when are you in wife mode? Maybe he’s over compensating with quantity due to lack of quality?

  3. Two big questions I have

    1 – How do you think this conversation will impact him?

    2 – Do you have any desire to “work on” how you feel about being touched by your husband between 8AM and, I guess, like 8PM?

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