Is it something you can tolerate to an extent, or something that’s an absolute dealbreaker? And just for clarity, I am NOT talking about people with full drug and alcohol dependencies, everyday users, will engage in asinine behavior to get drugs, and just generally ruin their lives and yours along with it if you let them. I’m talking about people who strictly use causally and/or socially, and where do you draw the line? Obviously most people enjoy a drink or two at the bar or any social gathering, and it’s not unheard of, even medically prescribed for some to enjoy a blunt or 5 after a tiresome 12 hour work day doing physical labor. My question is, where is the line drawn? Is it when other, “harder” substances get involved here and there, is it when THOSE get a little out of hand, or is it a purely moderation thing regardless of what the “thing” is? Or, and I’m sure this is the case for some, is it just an insanely big turn off in general?

37 comments
  1. A bit of alchohol is ok, as long as she dosen’t drink to excess.

    Drugs are a hard no.

  2. Drink or two on a friday/saturday is fine with me. If she smokes weed, thats okay with me.

    But other heavier supstances, I dont want to get hooked up with a junkie.

  3. As long as people control their drug use, instead of being controlled by it, I think it’s fine.

    My wife and me enjoy a glass of wine or a good whisky. Absolutely fine with me. But if either of us would feel compelled to drink, that would be an issue.

  4. I’d say most don’t mind it as long as it isn’t any crazy stuff, it isn’t done or consumed excessively, and the person isn’t too wild when under the influence. And if any of those do apply, I’m sure plenty of men would still be open to something casual.

    Myself, though, I’m very strongly against any drug and alcohol use. And I mean *strongly*. BUT, I can be open to a partner drinking very little and maybe smoking for legitimate medical reasons. Though, ideally, I’d prefer if they did none of that. ( .-.)

  5. I draw the line at occasional alcohol weed and shrooms. Everyone I’ve ever known doing harder shit had problems and always put themselves in stupid ass scenarios they should’ve known better to avoid. For instance hanging out at a “friend’s” place who gives out free shit if women hang out for an hour. Hang out longer = more free stuff. Definitely grooming for trafficking but some people are too stupid to see this.

  6. A beer or glass of wine or joint *sometimes* is okay. But for sure no hard substances and no daily use. And it depends on how she acts when she consumed something – if she turns into a different person, then I nope the fuck out.

  7. There are always exceptions but I want to say that in a general sense, it’s a deal breaker for me. It’s just not my lifestyle. I also get the impression that the need to overindulge in any type of mood enhancer or psychedelic is oftentimes an escape for some underlying issue. Maybe it’s stress or maybe someone really just hates their life and needs an escape. Either way, I don’t like the notion of just tackling symptoms instead of handling the root cause of your ailments. These “escapes” are not a long term solution.
    As a “career man”, I also don’t know anyone who maintains a moderate drinking/drugs lifestyle while having a steady job/career. Most people I know indulge a little on weekends at best. To me, it’s just a sign of not having your life together.

  8. I would assume right off the bat that we won’t get along if she insists on being completely sober all of the time, same goes for someone who does anything that feeds an established dependency (such as alcohol, meth, opiates).

    Personally, I love weed, but I smoke in moderation and it pushed alcohol out of my life almost completely – might have a beer or a cocktail every once in a while and mainly for the taste. So naturally this would be the sweet spot for me in another person.

  9. Few drinks is fine I will probably join, drinking to get tipsy every time we have dinner is not ok, drinking to get drunk definitely not my type. Drugs is a hard pass, I’m torn on weed though. Guess I should probably figure that out

  10. Alcohol is fine by me as long as it’s not a problem. I myself love booze but I’m not an alcohol addict. I’m not ok with drugs tho.

  11. So I draw a major distinction between light and hard substances and light and heavy use.

    I would never dare a girl who uses hard substances such as intervenious drugs such as Heroine, nor would I be interested in someone who does meth or opium. Those substances destroy lives and kill people. Not to mention the high risk and rate of disease transmission. Oxy and psudafed fall under that same umbrella for me. Coke can fall into this category depend on if it’s a heavy or lite use. If she tries it every once and a while when it’s on offer at a party or concert I’m fine with it but if it’s weekly or daily it’s a no for me.

    Weed, ex, recreational use of things like Adderall I’m fine with light usage. I won’t lie and say I’ve never dated a heavy smoker but it was brief (for other reasons). Honestly stoner chicks are hot but I also like a functional partner so I don’t care for people whose whole personality is just “wake and bake”.

    Alcohol, I prefer a woman who’ll have a drink or share a bottle of wine with me, but I would never date an alcoholic who couldn’t go more than a day without a drink or binge drank herself sick every weekend. It goes back to wanting a partner who’s functional.

  12. It all depends on what it is, if there smoking a joint every night who gives a fuck but if there drinkin forties and banging rails you should look elsewhere because there’s destructive as fuck and will to everything to destroy you as-well, misery loves company.

  13. Are you hot and you want to bang me three times a day? Then I’m down. I don’t even care if you snort 5 tons of heavy drugs a day.

  14. Won’t speak for all men, but I’ve already dealt with a woman who “indulges” in alcohol. Never again.

  15. I think I could only tolerate alcohol/weed consumption. And only moderate (not being drunk/high at every party, drink maximum once per week, smoke maximum once per month)

    I don’t judge the people who like to indulge in these things more, it’s just not my lifestyle so I don’t wanna hang out with people having fun this way

  16. Minimal alcohol, occasional cocaine, semi regular LSD/mushrooms/molly, frequent cannabis, and steroids/hgh are ok

  17. It completely depends on the context and the amount. If it’s all the time, then yeah that’s a deal breaker. If it’s occasionally then I don’t care. It also depends on how she gets when she’s impaired. If she’s mean or whatever then that’s also a deal breaker.

    So one or two drinks when we go out, no biggie. Even if she gets drunk occasionally, no biggie. Drinking to avoid the shakes? When she drinks she throws bottles at my head? Yeah that’s a hard no. Substitute minor drugs (weed, whatever) for drinking.

    Also, hard drugs are out.

  18. There is no such thing as casual drug use either you use or you don’t if you think you can just “use it casually” you are lying to yourself.

  19. My ex got into drinking heavily. Not going through that again. I could tolerate a glass of wine or something with dinner on the weekends, heavier drinking at holidays. If she’s getting hammered on a weekly or monthly basis I’m out. A joint or something on the weekends would be fine too. However, if she hides anything from me I’m walking.

  20. The dudes saying “2 drinks at the weekend”, is that what you do? If so, that’s a fair expectation, if not you’re just being a hypocrite.

    My current SO doesn’t take any sort of dr*g as far as I’m aware beyond alcohol, and she knows my stance on it, so I’d be incredibly worried if she started taking things with friends who are clearly a bad influence.

  21. Simple rule for life. No pills, no powders. I wouldn’t do that stuff, and I wouldn’t tolerate it in my partner. Thankfully, we’re both on the same page, so all good

  22. Addicts aren’t people. They’ve fallen off society’s bottom rung. People flirting with that fate are best ignored.

  23. When I was young and stupid, I was all about it. I used and love women who were cool with it. Now I see it as crutch. I like reality. I’m happy to be here. I would want my partner to feel the same. It’s a hard line but it’s based on a lot of hard lessons learned.

  24. TBH, I automatically put women who socially use drugs in a no date category. We might talk and mess around, but I just have a hard time taking them seriously.

    There are exceptions of course. Just in general, not wifey material for me.

  25. Excluding addictive stuff, I draw the line when I’m worried about them endangering themselves or getting raped. My girlfriend and I are into some recreational substances but we established ground rules about what we can do, can’t do and can only do together. One that we’re really into is literally used as a date rape drug, so she only does it if I’m there to look out for her. And we test anything that comes in powder form. Don’t want to accidentally do PCP or OD on fentanyl. If someone is using heroin or meth, or regularly using cocaine it’s an automatic no for me.

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