so basically I had a couple of social interactions today and it was fun,but when I went home my brain just over analyzes everything in random times as if they are flashbacks and makes it look like the other person hates me although that’s not true, what do I do to make my thoughts less negative? it annoys me and I can’t concentrate in my studies
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I don’t really have much advice but just wanted to say that this is me too. I overthink most social interactions so I just try to convince myself that the other person doesn’t actually think I’m an idiot. Whenever I see someone again it’s always totally fine and then I realise I was stressing for nothing. So this is what I try to remember. And then I sometimes think that if they do hate me after such an innocent interaction then that’s their problem as I only have good intentions, which it seems like you do too given how much you care.
Rational thoughts. They happen to everyone including myself. But they are a blend of both positive and negative emotions and negative emotions often have the power to overthrow the positive emotions which can be detrimental.
Meditation helps. Allowing yourself to calm down and focusing on that breathing is really helpful when your mind falls into chaos.
Writing your thoughts down. How about you take a third person view on your problems ? Maybe your problems may or may not sound like a big problem when you look at it from another perspective. Writing helps empty your thoughts down
Talking to someone helps but not always (different personalities)
Hope this helps.
The best advice I can give you might be the hardest to accomplish. So much easier said than done.
Let it go.
Words are like arrows. Once you shoot them, you can’t take them back. You can apologize for shooting someone or saying something, but you can’t take them back, make it like it didn’t happen.
Remember that you can’t control what people say, only how you respond to them. This might make you more hesitant in responding, but being thoughtful before is better than over analyzing after, I think.
You can send someone a strong invitation for offense but whether that person receives the invitation and “take” offense (take being the keyword here) is up to them.
In the same way, you too, can choose to take offense, or you can choose to laugh it off, deflect, change the subject, etc.
It’s up to you.
Good luck op
As long as you keep worrying about other people, people will notice and feel that vibe coming from you. People notice the way you carry yourself and the vibes you give off. When you are nervous/anxious/overthinking/worrying, your verbal and nonverbal actions tend to show it. If you keep acting this way, people will stop associating with you because it’s a negative vibe. You are essentially conveying that you are unworthy to hold a conversation with them or be around them and that they need to be constantly reassuring you. That’s not what you want to convey, and it’s nobody else’s job but your own to validate and reassure yourself. People gravitate towards self confidence, not anxiety.
Now is the time to learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with other people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. Find something you enjoy doing or are passionate for in life and keep pursuing that. You need to study right now, don’t you ? Do that. Chase excellence, not people.
Try practicing being more compassionate to others. Something I told myself was “They’re only human and can only do so much” – I started doing this around 18/19, bc I was not very nice/patient. Little did I know, I was practicing compassion for myself.
In that process of external compassion, I learned what the process looks like in “giving people grace.” I learned to have patience when waiting for someone to progress, or respond the “right way.” Eventually, I was ready to give that compassion to myself.
Ask yourself, what is the evidence they think this way about me? I have been in social anxiety therapy and one common thing people with anxiety do is catastrophizing (thinking of the worst case scenarios and believing they are truths).
https://www.mindmypeelings.com/worksheets