My gf(30) has a hard time talking about sex and things she is into. We took the mojo upgrade quiz and she picked that she wants her ass rimmed.. I asked her about it and she said she doesent wanna talk about it it’s weird but would be into it. The other night we started fooling around and I started rimming her and she had an orgasm. It was so hot I came as soon as I stuck my dick in her. I said to her in the morning “wasn’t that fun?” And she said I don’t wanna talk about it it’s weird but wants to do it again. She obviously loved it any other ideas on like fun anal things to do I wanna buy her a butt plug but don’t wanna seem pushy.
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Unfortunately until she wants to “talk about it”, you’re not really going to have your answer. You don’t want someone from Reddit saying “yeah, get her a butt plug randomly” and she never consented. That’s a bad look. Good luck though.
Edit: Also, she’s 30. Wtf. Why wouldn’t she want to talk about it? Life is short. Shove things in your holes.
It sounds kinda weird that she’s 30 and doesn’t want to have conversations with you about that stuff. But it could definitely be cause she’s embarrassed or maybe some anxiety about her ideas being rejected. You should tell her things you’re fantasizing about one night and open a safe space for her to say what’s on her mind.
I’ll try that
Just because she’s unlocked the door, doesn’t mean you have to kick it in. What I mean is.. you found something new. You tried it. She loves it. Maybe, given her awkwardness about the topic, this isn’t a good time to run away with the idea and push for more? I’d save that for down the road a bit. Settle in.. explore the rim jobs for a bit. Get her comfortable. It’s a marathon not a sprint.
I would stick with rim jobs and running your finger around the outside. Gentle pressure. Just get her used to it. Set her own pace. Maybe she’ll push back on your finger hinting the direction she wants to go in.
If she still doesn’t want to talk about it down the road you can use Sexionnaire.com. It gets into way more detail of the various butt things to do. (I would also suggest you fill it out with the things you’d be willing to try, and she would fill it out with things she wants to do.)
I wouldn’t be shocked if down the road you find out there’s a humiliation/degradation kink around the anal play.
My wife is eerily similar. We have frank and genial conversations about sex and kinks and I will open up to her about what I’d like to try, etc. when I ask her she kinda shrugs and suggests some very not risqué things like different locations or the like. However, a while back I got up the courage to start playing with her asshole after we read some erotica together and she responded very positively! But then the next day she just kinda brushed it off. Said “I’m open to more but not sure I’ll ever be down for anal” and I’m like “great, what kinda more? No pressure for anal sex, but I’d love to explore.” Then nothing. So similar to your gal it seems that they are willing to play in the heat of the horny moment, but embarrassed to discuss in the light of day.
For me, I bought a small plug. She wore it but it was too small and kinda cheap so wasn’t comfortable and popped out. Gonna get a better quality graduated set. But I’m not sure that she ever would have suggested it or asked for it, but since I bought it and offered, she was down to play.
Anyway I’m rambling. Not sure where I was going but, I guess I just wanted you to know that I empathize?
Keep trying new stuff and asking consent. We have just started using green yellow red safe words and I’ll just ask “green?” When trying something new and it’s been working well for us.
See if texting might work to get her to open up.
I can open up about what I want during sex no problem. But outside of it I have a hard time talking about it.
But I can text no problem. So if I have something I want to try but for whatever reason I have a hard time verbally saying. Then I text my husband about it instead of bringing it up in person. I know for me a lot is probably just growing up in an environment that you just don’t talk about that stuff and anything past vanilla always seemed wrong. I’m not vanilla at all. But verbalizing it can be difficult. But the more we text about it and talk about it during sex, the easier it’s getting for me to actually talk about with him, not just in writing
I would stay with the rim jobs for awhile. Later on down the road I’d try a well lubed finger and let her decide if she wants more.
Congrats on the ass eating! Lol. Yeah just take it slow. Not sure if y’all are into 69 but my favorite way to do it is my wife on top ass in my face and her blowing me….but like as she chooses not all hardcore. She’s still the center of attention but she can lick/suck me as she chooses.