I had a great first date with a girl last week. We ended up back at her place and made plans to meet again this week for dinner.
I saw again at the weekend when I was out with a friend and she was with her brother. She asked me to come and meet her and and we hung out it felt great
She has been sick this week and just diagnosed with covid meaning we can’t have that second date.
I’ve thinking that I’d like to drop by with a care package. But is that too much too soon, after one date?
I’ve got a habit of being too full on with girls if I think there’s a chance it might work out and I’m trying hard not to blow it and scare her off.
Should I just offer and see if she accepts any help (I had C19 recently so I’m immune).
Or proactively send her something thoughtful and helpful?
25 comments
Maybe you can try to contact her and ask how is she doing and probably send some flowers and chocolate.
Don’t send her anything. Check up on her, tell her if she needs anything to let you know, and leave it at that.
Ask her how she’s doing and if she needs anything. If it’s not serious than it’s a little overbearing. If she’s really sick and WANTS your help, she’ll appreciate the offer and tell you yes but you need to ask first.
I’d tread lightly. If the care package is something simple, light and fun (like some comfort foods- candy or cookies- and a Book/DVD she’d enjoy) I could see her appreciating that. If its something elaborate (an expensive bouqet) that might come off as needy or just overbearing.
Like others have said, your words are more important than the care package here. She’ll appreciate if you casually check up on her.
As a woman, if I’ve expressed significant interest in a guy this would be cute and nice. Make sure she’s actually feeling unwell and not just infected (she might find the package a bit silly if she’s feeling fine but just quarantining).
something small- like some snacks and maybe an activity book (think sudoku or crossword- something to engage the brain bc staying inside while quarantining is tbh maddening).
All this being said, if there’s only been mild interest then I’d dead the idea completely and just check in on her.
Do not. You barely know her. Just check up with a few texts
Ask if she needs anything, offer to bring her soup. Keep it low key.
This is what the kids call doing too much
It might be real, it might be an excuse. Just leave it on a good note and if she follows-up, great.
Yes, that’s too much. Y’all have only been on two dates. That’s not serious enough to warrant a care package.
Unless you guys have known each other for a while and have an established friendship, I would just disregard sending the package.
It might send the message that you’re too serious about her too soon which will chase her away.
Do you want her to be weirded out then send her a care package or show up to her door.
Give her space. This isn’t about you.
Text her something. Like hope you get well soon? Do you need anything? If she says yes could you…. Then do that and only that. If she says no thanks! Leave her alone. Also don’t you there constantly text her, a checking in text is more than enough. Being sick sucks, having to deal with overly concern people suck even more.
I think the key here is to ask if she needs anything AND make a specific offer, but do not show up at her place unannounced.
> How are you feeling?
<<response>>
> -comment on response-, let me know if I can bring you anything? I have some soup I can bring over if you’d like.
Usually people won’t take you up on a general offer unless they’re really desperate, but they’ll sometimes accept your more specific offer because it’s clearly something you’ve already thought through so it doesn’t seem like as much of an imposition
Sometimes less is more. Show your support via texts, etc.
I’m also currently dating someone with COVID (I don’t have it and haven’t yet).
Ask her to go on a FaceTime date to just chat and maybe watch a silly reality show on streaming, and politely feel out how she’s doing. While you’re chatting ask if you can send her a little something.
If she can taste, a fruit basket is fun. If not, Pedialyte is good to have as a hydration source and Advil/Sudafed really help symptoms. If she likes tea, send some loose leaf tea and a cute tea strainer.
Too much.
You could offer to drop off any needed supplies.
But you’re still complete and total strangers. You don’t really know anything about this person. Stomp the brakes and keep your foot on the brake pedal.
It’s not going to help the potential relationship if she’s groggy and feeling gross, and she looks out and you’re sitting on her porch with a gift basket. Just no, dude.
Too much. You do that for a girlfriend, not someone you went on one date with.
Can’t still be making this kind of mistake at 40, no disrespect, but the truth. This is validation seeking behaviour, it’s a sales a pitch to impress, it is trying to “win her”. You can say it isn’t, but it is.
Gifts and packages are for girlfriends who you are in an mutually agreed exclusive committed relationship with. No ifs, no buts. Anything else is just asking to be seen as desperate, overbearing and needy.
No, do not stop by or attempt to visit. Do not drop off a care package.
I’d honestly find offers asking if I needed anything to be fake offers. If I needed food when I had Covid, guess what? There’s an app for that. I definitely wouldn’t want to be making a grocery list for some guy I don’t know to pick up and judge my choices while I’m sick. 😂
And receiving flowers or some other gift this early would be too much.
Let the poor girl rest.
Lol im the same way with guys. Maybe just ask if you can bring her anything 🙂
A girl I know got flowers sent to her work after a date. It creeped her out. I think expressing concern and maybe offering to pick up stuff is nice but less is more since it was one date.
You are not immune just because you had Covid recently. Do not make that assumption. You will have MORE immunity, but it is not an impossibility. In terms of if it’s too much, yeah a care package is probably too much. Just check up in text and show her you’re there for her if she needs it.
Based on what you say, don’t do anything. Leave the rest up to her.
Being to invested early on causes them to lose early on from my experience, play it cool but of course do check up on her.
Maybe I’m older than most commenting, but I swear when I read this I said outloud, “aweee that is soo cute!!!”
I can only speak for myself, I wouldn’t feel like running away after a thoughtful gesture. Maybe extremely surprised, but in a good way. 🙂
Ask her if she needs anything. If she does, take that to her but don’t do anything more.