How to comfort your girlfriend after sex ?

30 comments

1. Why is she crying?

2. Oxytocin

3. It’s really important you find out why she’s crying

4. That doesn’t sound good man.

5. Is it good crying, or bad crying? I had a girlfriend cry during sex once and it freaked me out, but apparently I had just touched something deeply emotional for her and it was good.

6. Assuming she isn’t crying because she is in pain. The best thing to do is hold her. Some people get a flood of emotions when they have a good orgasm. My first thought was that you must be doing something right 😆
   I occasionally like to have some extra kinky fun that can get very intense. I frequently cry after. In BDSM terms you’ll be providing “aftercare.” Typically, in this context it includes cuddles, a soft blanket, a drink, words of affirmation…let her know she is safe and loved. DO NOT leave her alone at least until she is back to her normal self 100%

7. Ask..don’t comfort without knowing why?

8. Naked cuddles also u must know why she cries

9. I had a girlfriend like this. At first, it freaked me out but then I found out it is a normal response in some women post-orgasm to do with hormones and emotional response.

10. Find out what her love language is and DEADASS just ask how she wants to be comforted

11. I’ve had multiple girlfriends cry after sex, for different reasons. The first one was sexually abused as a child and it would bring back painful memories for her when we would be sexual. On top of that, she was a virgin before we started dating so the only other sexual experience she had had before was extremely traumatizing for her. It was very difficult at first for us to have enjoyable sex bc of this but we worked it out. A big first step was her telling me about the experience which was very difficult for her but it explained so much for me and helped me understand why she was so timid and resistant at first. After I understood what she sent through, I was able to help her progress and it I didn’t have to feel like I was doing something wrong.

    With other girls, sex just seems to open up a kind of awareness and confrontation with their emotions for them. Sometimes I was responsible for the sadness, and other times I had nothing to do with it at all. But the important thing is you seek to understand without feeling offended. Just be compassionate and listen with your whole being. Accept everything that they are feeling and expressing and don’t try to change or avoid the experience. Just allow everything to come out and talk about it afterwards. If it is your fault, try to understand how you are causing them pain and then apologize and change.

    (Sidenote: listen to ‘these walls’ by Kendrick Lamar… It’s about vaginas).

12. Believe it or not, this is actually not uncommon! I read up on it after someone I know complained that his wife does this, but I found out that it is not considered anything out of the ordinary. If it’s bad crying then of course, that’s a different situation, if it’s related to past trauma, etc. However, I read that many people feel emotionally overwhelmed during and after sex, but not in a bad way. Just in a very-feeling type of way. As long as there are no other issues, and if you’ve asked how she’s feeling when that happens (I mean if you know why or approximately why), then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. As you said, just comfort her. Hold her or do whatever else you already know she likes. You can also ask her yourself. How can I comfort you in those moments? What do you need from me then, because I’m happy to give it. I have a feeling the crying will eventually subside with time. Otherwise, good for you for asking this question, and best of luck to you both.

13. Talk to her on a day when you aren’t going to have sex. Ask her about how she feels safest with you during this time. Let her know you want to show you care about her feelings and want to do what she feels best with.

14. There are women out there that cry due to orgasm and aftermath of it. Like if she doesn’t know why/don’t have any traumas then it’s probably that lol but ask her

15. Have you asked her why she’s crying?

16. When i have a cry after sex occasionally it’s cause my husband gave it to me rough maybe felt a little too good and then i get overwhelmed with the sensations and emotions that follow after orgasm. Mine usually lasts literally a few secs and a few tears and I bounce back to a normal/cheery mood without anything being done by my husband

    He does hold me tightly though and once I’ve recovered always says “D so good, made her cry” in a joking tone

17. Therapy. You help her get some therapy. Be a cheerleader for her doing therapy in a respectful way. You are probably not equipped to handle whatever her trauma is.

18. Forehead kisses , gentle non sexual touching and forehead kisses my dude

19. My girlfriend used to laugh-cry, because she would orgasm but hated herself for liking me as much as she did.

20. It’s happened to me. I asked about it and she said, “it’s just so overwhelming.”

21. Cuddle her. Hug her. Stay close to her. Ask her the reason if possible.

22. I also cry which usually ends sex. It’s not my boyfriends fault but sometimes I get triggered and it ends and he comforts me by saying:

    – everyone is alright
    – I’m here for you
    – come here let me hold you
    – he just keeps repeating everything is alright
    – He also says it’s not my fault, we can get through this

23. Is/was she religious? It might be some leftover guilt from having a religious background

24. Why is she crying?

    Was she raised sex negative? Does she have trauma?

    Is it a good cry from the railing she just got?

25. This comment section was a great read !

26. FIrst of all if you haven’t done it, figure out why. Cuddle her, words of affirmation (I’m here if you need something, I’m next to you, take the time that you need…), comfort (water, food…), that’s all I can come up with now.

27. I generally just spend time afterwards apologizing, but assure her it was an incredible 7 seconds for me so she feels better.

28. Stop having sex until you talk about what’s causing her to be upset. Talk to your partner. Encourage them to go to therapy if it’s something they’re not comfortable talking to you about.

29. Based off your other posts I’d say your girlfriend should probably run away from you as fast as possible.

30. Use that line from the animated movie Babe “That’ll do pig”

    #sarcasm