Any time someone on reddit talks about a age gap people assume that the relationship is toxic but never explain what exactly is toxic.
There is this guy I know from Aikido practice. I’m alot younger than most of the people there (im 20 and he isch 50ish). I’m normally not into older dudes but this guy would be my type even if he was my age. I also get off by the idea of someone being obsessed with me. The idea of him thinking I’m this young nymphe and that he will never have a chance like this again just turns me on.
I wouldn’t want any relationship with him. I just want sex.
So what are the dangers? Why does everyone reddit think all relationships with a age gab are toxic?
6 comments
Not everyone on Reddit thinks that, humans tend towards generalizations, go fuck him, your overthinking what other people think, what matters is what you think
I too have noticed folks on here are quite prudish about age differences.
The big risk is power differentials, which probably speaks to the prudish reflex, an assumption that the elder partner is using their experience and wiles to manipulate the younger partner.
But like any other relationship it comes down to the basics – consent & respect, honesty & safety.
You sound like you know what you want, and the terms you want it on, so I say go for it đź‘Ť
I remember feeling this once.
When I was a freshman in biology 🧪, we had this professor 👩‍🏫 who was in her late 40s. She wasn’t my type or particularly attractive, but she wasn’t ugly, and some guys joked about finding her attractive.
Nevertheless, I had a certain level of respect for her. That’s where this all stemmed from. I appreciated the amount of work and passion she put into teaching the subject. So, I guess I sort of started to imagine ways my 18-19 year old self could show my appreciation and say thank you to her.
So I started fantasizing about meeting with her in her office … and getting her off … and giving her that experience of being with a substantially younger guy, feeling wanted and attractive again, and living rent free inside her mind.
Don’t worry what other people’s opinions are.
Who can tell you what you find attractive.
Just be sensible and careful, and enjoy yourself.
I think it’s only an issue if there’s a power imbalance. Otherwise you do you.
People get icky about it because there is a power imbalance. And as smart and mature as a younger person might be, it’s often likely they don’t have the life experience necessary to understand if they’re being taken advantage of, treated badly, manipulated, or even abused. But if you’re going in looking for something casual and keep your head about you, who cares what anyone else thinks? Do they even need to know? Enjoy yourself, and him! He may be lovely!