My boyfriend (M26) and I (F21) have been going out for 6 months. We’re very serious, crazy in love and even thinking about mariage after graduating. (I know a lot can happen until then but for now that’s our plan). We both got into this relationship to just have fun no strings attached and we both didn’t think about mariage before our 30’s but destiny had
other plans.
Yesterday I was with him near his place and then his mom called me saying that her son doesn’t pick up and asking me if I’m with him. I guess she saw us and smoothly invited me. I was in contact with her mom but I never met her as they live in another country. I wasn’t mentally prepared for it, i didn’t have time to imagine all the possible scenarios one
day in advance to be fully prepared when I see them. So I was extremely nervous and anyone could see it and it was just awkward. I’m the first girl he introduces to his parents or even mentioned to his
parents.
We had superficial conversations which was mostly me answering their questions. His mom told me I looked prettier IRL. His dad told me that they trust their son’s choice that if he chose that means I’m a good person from a good family. I stayed for like 2 hours.Then I had to leave super suddenly because of something urgent and I couldn’t say a proper warm goodbye like I would’ve done if I had the time. I felt super bad about the way I left so after I sent a message to his mom saying I was sorry that I left like thief (meaning I left so fast without much explanation). Then I sent a message to my boyfriend asking him what they talked about after I left and if they mentioned me.
This is his answer:
-They talked sh*t about you.
-Nah I’m jk they didn’t even talk about you or mention what happened after you left
-Prob won’t accept u fully unless it’s in the serious stages. They do usually talk after with any new encounter with ppl and discuss with one another so it’s weird to me. Would rather they talked sh*t about u tbh
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TL;DR
I met my boyfriend’s family and after I left they didn’t make any comments about me. I’m freaking out. What does that mean?
10 comments
They didn’t make any comments about you *to him*, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t talk about you between themselves…
They didn’t react in any particular way. They didn’t talk about you to HIM, which is normal. You’re not just some random new person, your his new person so of course they’re not going to say much in front of him. Did he ask how they felt about you? I imagine they like you just fine. You already have their number so this isn’t a huge leap.
As a mother of sons in their 20s, unless I see serious signs of seriousness, I don’t invest a lot of emotions in my sons girlfriends. Of course I’m warm and nice to them, but your heart breaks as well each time they get to the phase of ” I need to focus on this or that” from either them or the girls. I’m waiting for an engagement, then I can love the girl silly and pamper her like she’s my daughter. Don’t fret, once they see you guys are serious about one another, you’ll see they like you. They sound like nice people already.
You are 21. Don’t go rushing into a marriage with someone you are only just starting to get to know because of the excitement of the New Relationship Energy.
I don’t understand what you’re freaking out about, frankly. I suspect this is a cultural thing, because in America this would be extremely normal.
He’s 26 years old. He’s far too old to need to have his choices discussed with them until he proposes or something. I’m sure they talked about how you seem like a nice girl with each other. Beyond that they might not be concerned or interested in make any further judgements. This ain’t a kdrama where they either need to accept you into their family or be vehemently against you. Neutral is good, neutral is fine.
You are 21 years old and already talking marriage with a guy you’ve known half a year.
I wouldn’t give you much time either, honestly.
Pump the brakes girl. You’ve only been together for 6 months and now you’re imagining silly scenarios. You’re all in your own head about what his parents may or may not be thinking. Calm. Down. It’s so weird that you immediately messaged your bf to find out what they were talking about and if it was about you. Why do you care so much? Why do you need to be the center of their attention? Stop focusing on whether or not they discussed you and… Like live your life for yourself, not for his parents.
Equally important question: did you like them?
This post j screams not ready for marriage. Either of you. 6 mo is barely anything, pls do NOT get married anytime soon. You have plenty of time to get to know each other better, what’s the rush?
Furthermore, your bf’s response to you asking was a bit weird, or maybe just harsh. He def didn’t have to add the part where he’d rather they’d talked shit about you.
If anything his parents’ reaction sounds relatively normal. Not to mention your boyfriend is literally 26. Have you ever stopped to wonder why he isn’t dating girls his own age? Or maybe why they won’t date him? Age gap this big at this age can certainly be a red flag and from his response to you he sounds pretty emotionally immature. Plus moving this fast can be another red flag.
Biggest red flag I see is that in your post you’re talking abt marriage and being very serious where as in his text he literally says y’all are not in the serious stages yet.
I’d spend some time alone and rly do some thinking.