Welp, yeah. I feel like a lot of people can relate to me here. I used to be a pretty loving person. People would describe me as bubbly and I actually loved talking to people. But now, it’s so difficult to feel a connection to somebody or even feel comfortabl with my friends anymore. I feel so apathetic towards them now. It’s weird because I want to be alone but I recognize that this lifestyle is so toxic and degrading on my mental health. I have been starting to miss people, or I’m missing how I USED to interact and be with people and my friends.
I am starting to make new friends this year due to school opening up in spring, but I catch myself being so cautious and careful around them. Unable to fully open up and wanting to be with them. Whereas before pandemic I was an extremely trusting person. I miss feeling that fullness and warmth in my heart whenever I was with friends. Now I feel cold and apathetic. I honestly don’t know what to do. The only thing I can do is push myself towards social situations right? I’m joining a festival and starting work this summer so hopefully that helps a bit…
Tldr: covid has made me apathetic towards people but I want to make meaningful relationships.