Hey y’all. I just want to start out with saying that I love love love my boyfriend. He takes care of me and is sweet and is overall pretty great. With sex, I feel a little out of alignment with him. I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that wouldn’t hurt his feelings. I just feel like our sex could be way better and I don’t know how to go about asking for that. I feel like I want him to want me and I don’t feel like our sex happens in that way. It’s more of like, oh we’re touching each other and it’s gonna happen. I feel a little shy about it? Any tips on figuring this out?
3 comments
Definitely bring it up to him but obviously don’t say it’s unsatisfying lol say it in a way that doesn’t come off as negative. Also I’m curious, do you have something in mind that you think might make sex better for y’all?
Maybe try some sex toys, new positions, blindfold or tie up, etc. Communicate and try new things, might open a new door for pleasure.
Let me guess: he’s maybe a bit shy sexually, not super communicative, suggestive, or perfervid. Rather he’s more reactive, patient, and respects you “too much” – essentially the sexual equivalent of someone who says “wherever you want to go 🥺” when you ask where you want to eat. Not hating on him or you, this just happens to people all the time. I can personally relate to him too.
I guess the good thing is that he probably actually really, really, ***deeply*** appreciates you, your body, and your sex life. He just has his own mental barriers about what he feels is ok for him to do, say or express.