So me(16M) and my gf (16F) are in our last year of UK High school. We have been happily dating for nearly 2 years now with a few little bumps in the road. We were 14 when we first got together. We have spoken a lot about the future especially recently and how much we want a future together. Kids were briefly mentioned due to her adoring children. Tomorrow we have our last day of High school. She has extremely strict parents and gets virtually no freedom at all. She doesn’t even have a phone. That’s how strict her parents are. I have met both her mum and stepdad numerous times and they both think I’m nice. So you get the idea. We are happy. But with no way of speaking after high school breaking up is our only option. I’m crying whilst writing this. She is my world. She is perfect for me in every way. I know people will say I am young and it’s a young relationship but as previously stated this relationship really could have gone somewhere. So I’m asking you all for some advice on where to go from here and how to move on. Please. I need advice.
TLDR: tomorrow I lose my girlfriend due to the lack of ways of communicating after high school. We are happy and have conversed numerous times about the future we would love to have together. I need advice on how to move on from the perfect woman for me. Because it hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
8 comments
I’m a bit confused. What is her post-high school plan? Does she plan to just live with her family and not communicate with anyone? Presumably she won’t be going to college/university, since these days that tends to involve email access and online communications to do. Does she plan to just stay home and not have friends?
Do you not know where she lives?
Here is the bad news, losing young love hurts worse than it will later. Being young you feel lots of emotion way stronger. So, It hopefully won’t get worse than this. Unless you lose a loved one in a tragic accident or maybe eventually a kid, but that’s beside the point. Basically grieve it out though, cry or whatever non self destructive or actually destructive methods are available. Though also go out and do stuff. Lots of people will be perfect matches though, you may find even better than what you thought was perfect. Honestly, it’s better to go to university not having a girlfriend though if that is in your future though. College or university I’m guessing you call it is a great way to meet people.
Can you give her a small note with your contact details and social media so she can add you once she gets a phone or something?
Oh man… Love at 16. having now lived life twice as long as you – I can only say… Breakups suck, but you’ll get over it. And I know that sounds like terrible advice – it does nothing to make you feel any better and probably just sounds like horse shit. But it’s true. It’s also true that you’ll experience this kind of pain and probably worse many times throughout your life. You’re going to love MANY girls/women throughout your life. This will happen over and over… and over…. Each time will be unique and each time it will ultimately be worth the experience.
Just keep livin’ you’ll probably find the next one within the year. Just keep an eye out. She’s waiting for you somewhere.
Can she move with you and get out from the abusive house she calls home?
I think your first love will always be the strongest one. It always feels like it’s right because you haven’t lived to experience anything else. You’re young… Broaden your horizons! I was madly in love and had a boyfriend when I was your age (I’m now 21) and it felt like he was the only one for me. But once we went our separate ways, I realized how big the world was, and how many people lived in it.
You probably experienced some good, genuine feelings for her. No doubt. But she will not be the only one out there. If your love was meant to be, you’ll end up together eventually, even if it’s many years down the road. I lived on that statement when I missed him until I found other things.
In the meantime, take time to accept things, but don’t forget to enjoy yourself! College is amazing and so much fun!!
Well I think that’s a decision you both need to agree on, but also know that there is the option to stay together, although I’m not sure if that’s fair to either one of you. My partner and I are in a similar circumstance where technically I’m not allowed to even talk to him (not that he’s a person or anything. Just family issues) and there were times where we didn’t talk for weeks, sometimes 2 months, not seeing him in person for a year other than literally 2 minutes. You could make it work but the level of commitment you would need is so difficult. I physically can’t see a relationship with anyone else and I can’t not see my partner as my partner. He is the only person that I’ve met that’s so vastly different in a good way.
My point is, don’t consider this your only option, but also don’t just jump to this one. Think about all your options (and the future each can lead to) and if you can, discuss it with her. This is a big discussion and you both should agree on an outcome