So I don’t have any friends for a number of different reasons, being very shy and quiet during school, being very self conscious due to a speech impediment and getting bullied because of that. Over the years I was fine with it or rather just lived with that fact but now I am at a point where I feel so much better and want to start making friends to have the experiences most other men do but have no idea where to start to make this happen
21 comments
Do you have hobbies, meet people that way, and you have to make the effort otherwise nothing will happen
Find whatever hobby you have and keep showing up to places that host it. (As an example I moved to a new state where I didn’t really know anyone so I signed up at my local bjj club. Within a year I had made several new friends). It’s hard to not make friends when you see the same person over and over again.
Exact same boat. In the last week I have joined every local facebook group, make an effort to strike up conversations, joined the local ymca/community center and joined classes that interest me. Lastly I just joined a beach volleyball rec league.
No new friends yet but I’m hopeful and more aure of myself for trying.
I suggest you do the same!
Join a club or organization. You will meet others like you. Take up a hobby that has others doing it. Gun Clubs, Ham Radio Clubs, Lions Clubs, Elks Lodge. Lots of organizations that will put you together with others. Just reach out.
Get involved with group-based hobbies. Find your local groups who do those hobbies. The “making friends” part will start to happen automatically.
I haven’t used it in a while, but I used to find [meetup.com](https://meetup.com) extremely useful for this.
I would suggest intramural sports, but if you’re not super athletic maybe just the beer leagues (kickball/softball). They make free agent teams of individuals which are typically all ppl mostly looking to make new friends.
join a GYM. You will automatically get to know people
Go places where there are adult males. Introduce yourself. Tell them you’re trying to meet some friends, in the area.
Go where people are, look what they’re doing. And just watch them play sports. Cheer if someone makes a great move. High five them …..
In other words show interest in them, they will include you IF they’re worth be8ng your friend.
Martial arts, hiking clubs, volunteer groups, table top games etc. Lots of opportunities out there for you. Itll take time at first but once you become a social person you meet more and more people through the connections youve already made.
Damn good question.
It’s summertime. Your local yacht club has beer can races. Those are somewhat informal races where you can show up and they will put you on a boat where you can learn to be useful crew. Competition and team sports is a great friendship building path. Be good crew and you’ll be invited back.
Gun range, local game store, local auto parts store, barbershop, local breakfast joint, work, neighbors.
Pick people and talk to them.
Do things.
Enjoy playing video games? Join a guild/clan with a Discord server and start being active on there.
Enjoy playing board games / tabletop games? Go to your local game store on those nights and enter tournaments, play with them, just hang out talking to the employees, etc…
Enjoy doing sports and outdoor stuff? Sign up for random adult kickball leagues, 5k runs, hiking, etc…
You’re in the UK, and from your post history you love soccer, watch your favorite team from local bars. You don’t even have to drink, just hang out with the guys there.
Then, while you’re doing stuff that you actually enjoy, talking to other people who enjoy it, you start asking about doing that stuff together.
“DeepForce43, you live in Cincinnati, right? I’m going to be there hiking a trail in a few weeks. Want to meet up for dinner?”
“You know, I’m having a hard time with my mono-black control against red burn, and with the tournament coming up, there’s bound to be a lot of red. Want to do a couple matches this weekend to practice?”
“Hey, I’m thinking about hiking (whatever) trail next week. Want to come along?”
I’ll be honest, a good 90% of the people you talk to, likely won’t want to do those things, especially at first (This process takes several months for people to get to know you, you to get to know them, and all of you to find out who clicks together the best), but it really only takes a couple of “Sure, sounds fun!” to really get a friendship between guys going strong.
I married an extrovert. She has loads of friends – so the ones I like become my friends, and I can ignore the ones I don’t like.
Sharing hobbies and interests.
Go to the pub and drown your misery or celebrate a promotion together.
Or start gaming thats what worked for me.
I got my xbox when i was around 18 i played Morrorwind and splinter cell religiously until i bough far cry instincts and i’d start playing pred mode and ran into my first few friends one of whom i’m still friends with but due to life and work he’s hardly on but through him i met others and through them i met more until i ended up with the gaming friends i’ve got now.
Motorbikes and gym are great ways to make friends. Especially other male ones.
Trust me when I was 17 I thought “this sports bike with a bean can for an exhaust is gonna get me all the pussy”
Got me none.
It did get me a lot of guys coming up saying “nice bike” “nice exhaust, can hear you a mile away” etc when I’d pull into a bike meet.
I start by respecting other men, and not using men negative language like “male” instead of man.
You don’t. You go to work.
Be super positive and friendly at work. 1 good work friend is awesome