I’m a guy dating and have had this policy for a while. In my experience, when signals start, or become, mixed (hot and cold), then the person is either not that into you, or in a relationship, they’re into somebody else and looking out.
I’m only a sample size of one though. Has this been your experience? Is not chasing hurting my chances, or saving my time?
5 comments
Mixed signals happen when you’re giving them too
mixed signals mean not interested
I absolutely agree. Mixed signals = no to me. Even if they are genuinely just unsure and it isn’t that they’re not interested, I just take it to all mean the same thing so I don’t waste my time and energy. If they’re looking for what I’m looking for we will have the same level of interest
I always assume it means no, but I’ve been very wrong twice and too stupid to realise and missed out on two relationship opportunities with great girls I really liked.
It’s not easy..assuming no is the safer option for sure and you minimise the risk of making the women feel uncomfortable in anyway, which obviously you want to avoid.
But there is still a double standard where as the guy, you are the one expected to initiate things and if you don’t – they often stall and fizzle out.
It seems *generally* women like being pursued, unless they don’t find you attractive and then it’s creepy and I’m afraid you have little idea beforehand if your courtship is desired.
Sorry, I wish there was a universal easy answer here.
The medium is the message – I hate the term ‘mixed signals’ because it’s usually your ignorance in accepting that she just isn’t that into you. Don’t make excuses for anyone.