So this guy is from the same country town as me. I know all his family (I just haven’t met him out of them all) so I know he’s not a creep. We matched on tinder august last year and have had each other’s socials for a while but we have only just recently been speaking daily for the past month. We have amazing banter, he clearly understands my humour which can be quite dark and dry so these days it’s hard to come by. I’m highly attracted to him and can tell we have good sexual tension building up.
The only thing is that he will only ever ask me over to his place, clearly booty calls. I’ve asked him about it and he reassured me it wasn’t like that. I went away for a week and he went on with how he’s looking forward to us catching up when I’m back. I’ve suggested drinks but it never ends up happening and he will just fall back to me going to his place. It sucks because I do actually want to see if we have a good friendship too. I’m always open to having new friends and I believe that’s how I’d prefer any relationship to start off as I know we’d be compatible.
What’s a good way to work around this? Should I just ask him to come out for a drink if I’m out with my friends instead?
3 comments
Have a conversation about what this relationship is. He reassures you it’s not like that, but it’s been like that every single time? How’s that work?
I’d honestly be straightforward with him and ask him what’s up.
Maybe he has social anxiety. Maybe he does better one-on-one instead of out in public with crowds or other people. Maybe he doesn’t have a ton of money and is trying to keep from going out and spending.
Unless he’s outspokenly asking you over for sex, you can’t assume everything. It could be that, or it could be a host of things. Just ask what he’s looking to get out of this, whether or not he’s interested in literally “going out”, or if his expectations are different than what you were hoping.
>I’ve suggested drinks but it never ends up happening and he will just fall back to me going to his place.
well, it is clear you are not good enough to be more than just a booty call, *for him*. he knows he got you by attraction and is acting accordingly. very simple. no need for extra questions to be sure.