The gym has always seemed like the forbidden fruit when it comes to talking to women (unless it’s a crossfit or group session type thing). It’s pathetic seeing how some guys will creep in there and follow them around. That’s life in general especially with social media.
No matter what, gym or no gym, my first priority around women is to never be confused with a simp or sweating them too hard. In fact it’s such a concern of mine that Ive been told at times I seem standoffish, aloof, or disinterested.
At any rate, after months of what I consider IOI’s (exchanging looks, her being in close proximity more than I’d consider “random”) I bit the bullet and broke the ice last week. I just couldn’t take it anymore lol. There’s an energy she gives off that I’m undeniably drawn to.
The conversation started great. Big smiles. Some laughs. She asked me for my name (twice), and had mentioned that I’m one of her “3pm regulars at the gym”. Confirmed the dude she’s almost always with is just a friend. I didn’t feel confident in how it ended though (she was the one to politely end it).
Saw her two days ago. The first time was as I was turning my head noticed she had walked by me (I had been starring off at the clock). She walked by me again 20mins later and shot me this standard “Hey _____” but didn’t stop to talk. That wasn’t the IOI “reciprocation” I was hoping I’d get.
Yesterday I decided to keep to myself. Stayed on the far side of the gym. No exchanging of any looks and hyperfocused on my workout. She was with that dude again, but I noticed at one point she had hung around after he left (they ALWAYS leave together).
I’m now firmly planted in my head about how I should act moving forward. I don’t want to be that guy who’s always trying to chat her up. I’m likely jumping the gun a little bit and letting my mind run wild with speculation. It’s a known issue with me rather than just being someone who “does.”
Anyone with some tips?
6 comments
Maybe wait for your chance until she’s alone and walk up to her and smile again?Since you’ve already established communication ask whether you could Alternate sets with her as you(probably) also need to use the machine.The worst she could say is no and if she says yes then you have a quality time to spend doing your sets
And this is why you don’t approach women in the gym. Now it’s awkward for both of you
I think you might be overanalyzing a lil bit. Talk to her next time and invite her for a coffee before working out? You could say that you always grab a cup of coffee before working out for energy, and you’d love to have her tag along. If she says no, j say thats too bad see you around or smth like that, n if she says yes, sus out the vibe and make your move if you feel something more than just friendly
I would say go next to her between sets and ask her something about the gym or smth or whatever.
Then try to flirt a bit and see if she flirts back before you try asking her out.
If she is receptive to your flirting then say something like “how are your skills in table football/pool/darts/bowling etc?”
What ever she replies to you go something like “hmm, I’m going to play table football/pool/darts/bowling next week, think you could beat me?”
If she is receptive then ask her social media handle or number and then chat a bit back and forth again and resume your work out after.
If you want then I got a lot of support from [reading this book](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingadviceformen/comments/p0qc45/ebook_how_to_date_any_girl_free_for_limited_time/) when I got back into the dating game (was in a relationship for a long time.. kinda lucked out with a girl from school but didn’t have any other experiences).
Helped me a lot in terms of approaching girls and keeping interactions going, flirting, asking for a date etc..
Don’t worry about fcking up, nobody likes everybody and some girls, doesn’t matter how cool you are, aren’t gonna like you and vice versa.
Hope I could help you 🙂
Dude, she is waiting for you to strike up a conversation. Don’t waste any more time. See if you can have a many paragraphs convo. If that seems like it is going good, try the coffee before gym line. If she says yes, you’ll be glad you persued her. If she says no, then at least you know and can stop all the nervous conversation in your head. Don’t miss your chance.
I’ve actually gotten a couple numbers at the gym (just recently started approaching) I vote to strike up a convo, keep your intentions clear and then ask her out. Maybe I have a different way of looking at things, but you don’t know if you’ll ever see her again. Also, acting on your desire feels in a respectful way feels so damn good as a man.
Plus, you’ll likely be one of the men who has ever done that too her. As long as you’re respectful, even if she rejects you, you’ll likely still leave a great impression. It’s a win/win.
Good luck, brother.