I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) since college. We eventually moved to different countries for work. At that time we were quite young and decided to base our decisions solely on our respective careers and growth. If that happened to get us to the same location, great. If not, it’s ok. We’ll kickstart our career and eventually find a way to be in the same place.
Note that we were only 20 back then and who knew what would happen? Who knew we’d last?
We decided to stay in a long distance relationship. For us, “As long as we love each other, the distance can be handled”, was the motto. He has been wonderful throughout. We trust each other and love each other. We survived the COVID-induced distance too (didn’t meet each other at all for 2 years due to travel restrictions).
Now, all this is great but are we stupid and idealistic? We have to work hard to find a way to be in the same country (we will work hard) but it is stressful. I know so many people who ended their relationship because of distance. Are we being impractical here? So many people ask us how we do it? I don’t know, distance was never a reason for us to break the relationship. Are we playing it safe?
I ask this because once again, I was with a couple of friends last evening who seemed to find it too strange and unreal that we’ve been in long distance for 5 years. This triggered some questions in my head and here I am.
Tl:Dr; same as question.
6 comments
If it works for you two, who cares what others think?
My cousin and his wife were long distance for 7 out of 8 years and are now married with kids and living in the same country.
I think perhaps having a plan to be together and working and taking concrete steps towards it being a reality is maybe a helpful gauge?
I don’t think it’s stupid. Are you happy? You’re looking towards the future together and planning accordingly, however small the steps to get there? I think that’s all that matters. Who cares if other people don’t understand it. Clearly you’ve found someone special and if you’re happy in your situation then keep on keeping on 💛
If it’s working for you , it’s fine but you do have to consider the next step as well.
That would possibly include moving closer to live together, or even go ahead and do your marriage and moving in together
I don’t think you are. I envy you because someone who is literally the perfect match for me, and me for her, lives across the country but she’s not willing to do a long distance relationship.
The idea of a long term long distance relationship is strange to many, but with advancements in technology + honest/open communication + the desire to put in the effort, I don’t see how it’s *not* possible to have a healthy relationship this way
OP my sister and her now husband were in an LDR for 8 years. Even when he moved to the US they were still in an LDR, and when he finally moved to where she was at, she told me it felt like nothing had changed. They were so open with their communication, talked every day, and trusted each other so much that no distance had affected their love. It’s possible, with a bit more effort.