What is your view on the idea that men get the worse deal in a marriage?

28 comments

1. Well, its rather true actually

   Men are more likely to screwed over in divorce than women

2. In marriage? Nah. In divorce, absolutely

3. You are asking if men get the worst deal on marriage? I’m not sure their deal is worse than a woman. I mean in Divorce they probably get the short end but not during marriage.

4. Lived it man. worse than u could imagine.

5. In a healthy marriage, nobody is getting a bad deal.

   The problem is so few marriages today are healthy.

6. I think it’s becoming less true as time goes on.

7. If its an actial marriage by the books then i dont agree with it since raising children is an incredible hard task. The problem is most parents are fucking incompetent and consider survival until 18 as a job well done and you can see this by the amount of adults in their 30s that have no idea how to interract with people or what they want from life.

   If things are like this and the mom is at home while the dad works then i wod say that men get the short stick since the women arent doing their jobs properly. Men are to blame too but in the raising children regard theres not much they can do when theyre gone 10 hours a day.

8. Yes. What we get in the modern age is nothing like what its worth in the last 70 years

9. I mean, I have an amazing partner in my wife. She works, pulls more weight with our children due to the differences in our work schedule, shares cleaning, gives me wise counsel on my problems, gave me awesome children I enjoy being with and puts me above herself, the same way I do her. She stuck with me through a 15 month absence in Iraq and cried with me when I lost a dear friend in the Army.

   If you marry a terrible women, sure, you could get a bad deal. But so could a woman marrying a terrible man. Less to do with gender, much more to do with making a good choice on your spouse.

10. Men can lose everything from a divorce but gain almost nothing from a marriage over a live in girlfriend.
    There’s no real advantage anymore to signing that certificate.

11. Not sure how to respond to this as a gay man who was married to another man.

    If it’s something you’re worried about, just sign a prenup.

12. They call it “divorce rape” for a reason. I’ve known too many men that were decimated emotionally, mentally, financially, and even physically by divorce rape. The fact that courts give deference to the mother for custody is such a MAJOR problem.

13. I actually think we get a worse deal in relationships in general. There are exceptions of course, but men are generally expected to ask girls out. Many times, we are the ones initiating affection and being “in control” during that time. Most of the women I’ve dated absolutely do not want to pick a place to eat or go on a date to. It’s like pulling teeth trying to get their opinion.

    It really feels like you are pulling more than 50%. Like it’s not an equal partnership so much as it is expected you be the one always taking charge. And after pulling more than 50% and putting in more work you somehow get less compliments or appreciation for doing it because it is expected.

    Also, I totally get it. There a like societal reasons why women might feel shy about taking charge or not wanting to be seen a certain type of way, but that doesn’t change the reality of it.

14. It’s bullshit.

15. It’s a lot of whiny bullshit. Statistically, marriage literally makes men live longer. But the kind of people who rant about marriage being unfair to men are not interested in objective data. They’re just personally unhappy with how their marriages turned out, and they want to have a big pity party.

16. Not male but my husband definitely has more pressure & expectations on him than his Dad ever did. All his old man was expected to do was have a job. They moved at his whim, all the load was on mum.

    My husband is expected to have a job, be a good father, be an emotional & sexual support to me as well as help around the house.

    I would like to think the pay off of a better relationship with his kids. But the reality is in the past the men did have it easier but equality is like scales. Someone is weighed down somewhere. And everyone’s scales look different so you can’t really judge from the outside.

17. That it is accurate in most cases.

18. I don’t think it’s the truth at all, and kind of reflective of a toxic attitude when people believe it.

19. Don’t men in marriages tend to live longer on average (while it’s the opposite for women)?

20. It’s just a raw deal. If the man does not respond instantly to any emotional action of his wife, she cab take half his stuff, bo questions asked.

    If they have kids, he then gets to be an indentured slave for 18 years.

    The courts care nothing for what happened in the relationship.

    The wife cheats, she gets the kids and the money.

    The wife leaves, she gets the kids and the money.

    The wife is strung out on Crack and pimping herself out, he may have a chance if he can prove it in court.

21. There is no view, it’s literally a fact.

22. Depends, men today don’t get the same benefits of marriage that their grandfathers and great-grandfathers got so that’s not great, and if you’re a guy who has their shit together financially, mentally, doesn’t have a problem getting women, there’s not much of a benefit in it for you to get legally married

    For healthy marriages and people who know their roles, seems all right but overall I’m glad that less people are getting married, now if only we can get the government out of it completely

23. I wouldn’t agree with that.

    I think people who don’t learn how to communicate with their spouse get the worse deal in marriage. Unfortunately, there’s a stigma that men as a whole aren’t great communicators.

24. Why would I willingly sign a contract to make ending a relationship far more expensive and time consuming where 9/10 times I get screwed. Personally marriage will never be worth it to me unless there’s an ironclad prenup

25. She has to make the baby, you have to care for them. Sounds fair to me

26. It’s not supposed to. But from what I’ve seen around me the husband often ends up getting abused and loosing a lot in a divorce. Idk why it’s considered acceptable to “trap” a man by getting pregnant without consulting him or to threaten him with a financally damaging divorce in order to keep him obedient and docile this is abuse and nothing else.

27. Marriage is wonderful…when it’s good!

    It’s the divorce that’s crushing! Forget the real estate losses and the legal fees…thats lame, but it can be worse..

    Your children are only young once and they do grow up fast! Not getting to see 1/2 of their childhoods (or more) is incalculably awful.

    Do you know how hard it is to install the values they need to succeed at life – on a part time schedule?

    How many bedtime stories you don’t get to read anymore?

    Every time I see my daughter she looks visibly older. It’s only been a week, but I know I’ve missed a lot

    And you can never make up for lost time!

    Divorce fukking sucks!!

28. The only way he gets the bad deal is if there is a divorce then the woman gets everything he has