I’m 24 F dating a 24 M. He has a lot more sexual experience than me and I’m wondering if it’s compatible in the long run. He was in a poly couple, he had threesomes, bdsm, etc. I only had one boyfriend for 4 years. He fantasizes about seeing his gf having sex with another man. I could never fulfull this fantasy for him. He said he didn’t like being in a poly couple, but I’m scared he wants to bring it back in the future if we are ever a couple. If you had a similar experience, I would love to hear it!
11 comments
For couple to work, you both need to have the same goals that you both want out of a couple relationship. If you want a traditional relationship and down the road he wants a poly relationship then this wouldn’t work out. Dating a person with your own goals is key to a long lasting relationship. If you’re feeling uneasy now about it, talking with him (or again) may be good to affirm your stance on relationships to him.
Hope this helps.
The potential poly incompatibility issue aside, I wouldn’t worry about him having more experience. I’ve only had casual hookups so far, and I’ve mostly been the less experienced one in them. Would be refreshing if that wasn’t the case for once. It’s most important that you enjoy your sexy times together rather than who’s more experienced.
My current relationship of over a year was similar with me being the experienced one. There absolutely is a chance of compatibility issues, but that’s a possibility in any circumstance. I wouldn’t consider that to be an issue until it proves itself to be one.
I’m personally very happy with my current gf in this regard, and we are vastly different in terms of experience.
I don’t get this thing about guys sharing the women with other guys. To me it’s just not a turn on. I would be worried as well about a fool screwing my girl if he was clean or not. If you’re having doubts about the future of the relationship you might be better off to run now.
His recently viewed Phub list sounds icky
I have most of those fantasies too, but it’s not like every girl I Date should be OK with all of them. Just talk with each other, ask him if he is OK with keeping that fantasies just as fantasies? And then also think for your self, can you consider those fantasies? Or you absolutely hate them. If you can find a common ground then it’ll be ok
Whoa! the guy is your age and has accomplished more on a “sex bucket list” than an 80 yr old, and you are considering being another conquest? Really? Look, I am sure he gets you hot and bothered, but this is not going to end well. You will not get anything out of this and he will be bragging how he was your first at this and that to all his friends.
Please don’t compare your lack of experience to this loosey goosey. This is not the norm.
you don’t have to do something you’re not interested in. if he doesn’t respect that then get out of the relationship.
It sounds like he’s into BDSM and you’re not, your problem isn’t the difference in sexual experience, it the difference in relationships desires. Even if he’s not into poly relationships anymore, someone who is into bdsm usually doesn’t lose interest in that lifestyle very easily (and it is a lifestyle). Unless you are interested in getting involved in that lifestyle, you guys are probably not compatible.
First. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
Forget about the experience, this is not a competition. But One thing for sure is that he won’t stop pushing you until you do what he wants. This is a huge red flag, run faster than fast.