I (m26) got engaged to my fiancé (f27) and I stopped making food for her and only make it for myself, which angers her. I used to work as a nurse practitioner and make six figures but my fiancé is a doctor and makes more than double the amount I do so she wanted me to be a stay at home, which I did not want to do but agreed to because we want to have children after our wedding. I’ve been stay at home for 3 months now and I usually do all the housework and make the food, except on weekends because she says she wants to give me a break from the work (I really appreciate this). I do all the cooking and make her lunch to take to work too. Recently she’s been complaining a lot about my cooking so I started just packing her a Trader Joe’s salad or wrap for lunch and she was okay with that. For dinner tonight, I made myself steak, rice, and salad but gave my fiancé a microwave Trader Joe’s pasta. She got mad at me saying I’m being a selfish prick and not pulling my weight but I told her she kept complaining about my food so I decided this would be better. My fiancé then got even angrier and told me I should be a better cook or take cooking classes instead of giving up and forcing her to eat “garbage”. She told me I’m leeching off of her and she won’t let me use any of her money so I told her I’ll just start working again and she got mad at me saying I don’t care about her or having a family with her. I need advice
7 comments
Sounds like she wants a slave more than a partner.
Get out of this relationship, OP. This person is extremely toxic.
Yep go back to your job so your toxic partner doesn’t feel like she has so much control over you.
While what you did was kinda petty, I think there is an uneven dynamic in your relationship. Why would you quit work because she wants to start a family and even so, you didnt even want to quit in the first place? You could literally both work or reduce working hours when she is actually pregnant, but i dont think you should even try for a children if i am being totally honest.
Surely you should both realise that starting a family is not always instantaneous and can take a long time? Also yous are not even married yet? You could literally be making money to save for the future?
I don’t think any of you are ready for marriage or kids. Also her holding money over your head after asking you to quit, is manipulative as hell.
I am staggered that two highly educated people can be this dumb.
It’s always best to have separate finances, especially when the bread winner is a woman. With 70%+ of divorce being started by women you should for sure have your own cash flow. Not on a me vs you basis but to eliminate these petty issues yall have. You’re being spoken to like a servant which hilariously enough men do to women when roles are reversed. Not many people can properly have a stay at home partner because people power trip to easy, you’re a couple where that doesn’t work so stop doing it
Why are you still with her? Toxic af
GET A JOB ! Obviously she won’t be satisfied regardless and you will be the one who ends up years behind in your career not her so take care of yourself and go back to work asap