Me (m16) and my gf (f15), relationship of a year and a half, broke up a few days ago, ive been devastated these past few days. I’ve cried my eyes out, I’ve blamed myself, and even tried hating her, which failed spectacularly. We broke up for a few reasons, those being that her parents didn’t approve of me, her parents didn’t allow us to talk after getting into some trouble together at school (bad trouble), we talked in secret which stressed my gf out and made her feel so two faced and guilty, and mainly that it maybe just wasn’t our time, that were too immature for such a love and we just had to wait.
I decided that we should fully break up because when relationships take a break, they do because they didn’t work for a reason, and that ignoring the problem wasn’t going to help. I thought that breaking up would help us move on and find better partners in life, be happier.
I love this girl with my entire soul, I lived for her, she was the reason I kept going, but I’m starting to think that it might have been a problem for me to live that way. She became a huge part of my identity that I can’t imagine life without her. I saw in a yt video how things happen for a reason and if it didn’t workout, just keep swimming.
I’m conflicted on what I should do. On one hand this girl showed me how to live myself and my achievements, something I’ve struggled with my whole life. She made me see I was enough, and to see all the good in the world. I don’t want to let her go, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me. On the other hand, things didn’t work out for a reason, and I may have never earned the respect from her parents that I wanted. We wouldn’t have been able to talk and it might have lead to more harm than good. What should I do? Do I wait for her, or move on to greener pastures?
TLDR- Year long relationship over, do I wait to go back to her or move on?
1 comment
It’s been a few days and you’re teenagers; it hurts right now but it’ll get better with time. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, hurt, hopeful etc. Don’t suppress these feelings, as it’ll just take you longer to get over this.
>She became a huge part of my identity that I can’t imagine life without her.
Well, you will eventually. She was a part of your life but you need to be able to stand on your own. Don’t make the mistake of putting one person on a pedestal, because it’s not fair to make them responsible for yourself. _You_ need to work on being responsible for yourself, and emotionally self-sufficient.
>I’m conflicted on what I should do.
What is there to be conflicted about? It’s selfish of you to demand that she sneak around for you, if she doesn’t want to upset her parents. She can’t and has chosen not to date you right now, and you need to accept that. It hurts, but that’s the way things are.
Don’t wait for her. You have zero guarantee that things will go the way you hope them to, and you’ll just waste time. Work on yourself and see to your own life, and let her see to hers. It’ll get easier day by day.