How does attachment ideas work?

6 comments

1. It’s just a conditional trauma response, or lack thereof, usually linked to childhood deprivation, when your needs are as basic as they are easy to ignore.

   It does stick with you for life, and all you can do is recognize and compensate accordingly. Short of some miraculous event, you’re stuck with it, and the therapists I talked to folded on that point on the second it was said.

   Not to say that the trauma after marriage isn’t serious or doesn’t come close, but you know how you used to be and can hope to contextualize the traumatic events as, inherently, arbitrary and meaningless. All things considered, you got dealt a shit hand, and it’s okay to not want it to happen again. But there is still hope to recognize it was a shit hand and move on, and I suggest seeing a professional if the social support network just isn’t there to handle it.

   Attachment types don’t have that, there is no “back” to go to.

2. If you think you do then talk to her. Communicate. Sounds easy but it isnt. Say how you feel. Dont list off everything she did wrong, just say how you feel.

3. You can familiarize yourself somewhat [here.](https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment-styles.html)

   It’s not hocus pocus as they have defined criterion from a psychological classification standpoint, though it’s obviouisly not going to be as black and white in all cases as something like mathematics.

4. Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love.

5. I just had to look that up. It seems interesting, but I have nowhere near enough info to give a good opinion. I do find it amusing how it pretty much showcased the behaviors of one of my exes as textbook anxiety driven attachment.

6. Definitely a thing. If you have the gift of introspection you can probably recognize elements of attachment theory in yourself and past relationships. If you watch a show about relationships like “Easy” on Netflix you can see the various attachment styles manifesting in the characters, which is NOT subtle at all.