20F here. I’m unable to make friends because I feel horribly anxious and awkward talking to people. How do I fix this? Is there some kind of medication or therapy that could help? Whenever someone asks me out or is nice to me I just feel paralyzed from fear and want to leave as soon as possible. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.
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>I feel horribly anxious
Do you feel generally anxious during your day much of the time, or, is it more just ‘situational’ anxiety when facing the prospect of confronting people?
Either way, it’s likely helpful for you to avoid becoming so anxious so for a way to learn how to reduce this, I suggest you read my comments in this [Post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/socialanxiety/comments/v8y9x0/22m_i_am_insecure_about_my_physical_health/)
There are also anxiety meds, but as remarked they’re a last resort (they often work well in the short term but really badly in the long term imo).
As long as you keep feeling uncomfortable, people will notice and feel that vibe coming from you. People notice the way you carry yourself and the vibes you give off. When you are nervous/anxious/overthinking/worrying, your verbal and nonverbal actions tend to show it. If you keep acting this way, people will stop associating with you because it’s a negative vibe. You are essentially conveying that you are unworthy to hold a conversation with them or be around them and that they need to be constantly reassuring you. That’s not what you want to convey, and it’s nobody else’s job but your own to validate and reassure yourself. People gravitate towards self confidence, not anxiety.
Genuinely connect with them in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.
Social anxiety group therapy helped me feel like I wasn’t alone.
It gets easier to socialize with practice.
Keep putting yourself in polite casual conversations with people who seem friendly.