I (24F) fell in love with a (28M). It has been an ongoing on off situationship because he never wanted to put a title on it.
He’s an extremely jealous man where he did
not accept his girl to talk to any guy even if it was a waiter. In the beginning he never showed this side of him but he slowly started getting feelings for me and
started telling me what he likes and dislikes in a girl and how her actions should be to be able to get with him.
He did not want me talking to any single male. Did not like the fact that i work and have men in my department. No tight short clothes no nail polish nothing. Of course to him my friends were hoes and wanted me to stay away from them.
Me being completely in love with him i decided to try and follow his rules but always seemed to fail as i did not
understand why is he like this and why he does what he does. So to him i was constantly making mistakes. He put me down by telling me how much of a non-worthy person I am and how I don’t deserve to be his girlfriend and i will never be one because of how i fail to follow his
rules.
I got fed up and tried to talk to someone else but now every time i do all i could this of is him and how much i still love him and still want him and it saddens me to see how im ready to give up my entire life to be
with him but he never once in these 3 years told me he wants me :(. What should i do???
TL;DR i dont know if my ex is toxic or not but i still am crazy about him and dont know what to do.
6 comments
He is showing the typical signs of a mentally-abusive man. He is controlling your actions, dictating who your friends are, and telling you what you shouldn’t wear. He is always putting you down and finds fault in every single thing you do. He is the type of guy who is happiest when he is controlling others and making them feel inferior. These types of guys don’t know how to relate to women any other way and never permanently change.
If it was me, I would run far away from this man, but each person has to make their own decisions in life.
Please know that you do have worth despite what he says. And leaving him would be hard at first, but staying with him would be harder in the long-term.
I would suggest therapy to see why you are so in love with somebody who is so toxic and abusive to you. I mean that in the Nicest Way – his behavior is not normal and is absolutely abusive.
thats super toxic, and your response is pretty normal – ill wager hes good in bed.
you need to block him and get a man who will treat you like the queen you are.
Please do not return to a relationship with someone who is dictating what you can and can’t do, and who you can and can’t see.
That is so unhealthy, and nothing good will come from it
Red flag!!!!!! His clearly trying to control you. My ex was like this but worse. It got so bad I was hardly allowed to see my mum (he hated her). You might love him but things are going to get worse and there is clearly doesn’t trust you so break free asap
Ohhh I just wanna give you a hug. This sounds incredibly difficult. I can imagine you might be scared and confused realizing this part of him. Breathe. Every time you think about how you love him, take a breather. Then think about those negative aspects. Do you really want to live the rest of your life with someone who will put you down? Who will tell you how to dress? Who will keep you from having friends? Do you think those defining qualities are worth it?
I’m gonna hope the answer is “no”. This is definitely an abusive relationship. Even if he’s kind outside of the relationship, he’s still shown this character. That will only come out more as you stay with him. It will only get worse.
It’s so easy to fall into “but I love him” and I’m sure you do! But trying to keep on the forefront of your mind that he is *not* positive relationship material will help you stay away while you get help. (I would suggest help as well, to protect yourself from his awful actions and future people like him.)
I wish you lots of luck getting out of this situation as it seems you want to, and I hope better people come your way as well ❤️