Sorry for the long story but just wanted you to have the full picture here. I (22F) drunkenly hooked up with a close friend (24M) a few months ago while drunk. After the drunken encounter I discussed that it was a mistake and we should just be friends so we didn’t jeopardize our friendship and my friend seemed to agree at the time. Later I figured out/assumed he may have potentially had feelings for me because he just refused to talk about anything after so this is just my assumptions. Of course I realize he could’ve just been using me the entirety of our friendship but I really doubt that because he’s a really good guy overall and we have been friends for over a year completely platonically up to this point. Anyways I think I pushed him too much to talk and I ended up getting hurt in the process of him ignoring me and pushing me away so we ultimately stopped talking all together.
This was a few months ago but I still can’t seem to get him out of my head and I really do care about him. So lately i have been contemplating messaging him but I fear I may be blocked or the message is selfish and I should just let him thrive on his own. There’s a small part of me that hopes he would love to get a message from me and has had time to process the situation and either we can go back to being friends or become more than friends. Because over the past few months when I think of him or see him on social media I think I may have feelings for him and realize maybe I always did only I didn’t admit it because I care so much for him as a friend (not to mention I have an extreme fear of rejection). Lately I feel like since he’s not my friend anymore and I have lost him I have time to figure out that I actually really care for him in a romantic and non-platonic way without the pressure. Which brings me to my actual question would you be offended or upset to receive a random nude photo from someone you’re no longer friends with? Because I really want to start off letting him know how I feel and make him feel wanted. Or would it be better to send a long message explaining how I feel? Or should I just leave well enough alone and let him live his peace and try to find my own?
4 comments
Wait did you two stop talking after this? You really don’t have anything to lose since it seems you can’t maintain the friendship — either see if you’re interested in a relationship or go your separate ways
How about no nudes and no long messages about your feelings, how about just a short message about your feelings? And wishing him well and saying you get it if he’d rather not start communicating again.
Maybe a short honest text – something that explains why, apologizes and asks for help
“Have you every got so scared about losing someone you lied. I did, I made a mistake and told someone I really cared about that I just wanted to be friends because I was scared of losing them. I really should have told them that I wanted to see if we could be more.
How do I recover from this mistake?”
Something like this in your own words
A nude photo is a bad idea pls don’t do it. Because it may give him that temporary pleasure that pushes him to fake his feelings for you so he can get more…Plus, that would feel awkward at his end…
A text message is better.