I (24F) went on one date with this guy (24M). The date was fun! He was so sweet and I could tell he really respected me.
For background purposes, I have never been in a relationship. I have been emotionally and verbally abused in past “things” with men, and now I feel I have a skewed view of what is normal.
On the opposite end, i’ve also talked to some guys where they were just a little *too* into me…”lovebombing” as they call it.
So this new guy invited me to a BB game with his cousins. I thought this was a little odd since we’ve only been on one date and meeting his family is a little too soon for me. I had work this day anyway, so I couldn’t go.
That same night he and his cousins drank a bunch. He ended up drunk messaging and leaving me voicemails. He started saying how much he really liked me, how he hopes we’ll go on more dates. He said he thought I was cute, etc. It was all really sweet.
But there’s a part of me that’s a little alarmed. Although i had fun on our date, i’m unsure if this is all just so much so fast? I also have an attachment disorder and I recognize maybe i am a little more cautious than most people. would you consider this normal behavior?
He messaged me the next day apologizing for him saying all that. idk how to feel. would you be alarmed if someone said these things to you after one date?
TLDR- went on one date with a guy. after he got drunk he messaged me saying he thinks i’m great and he can’t wait to see me again. is this a little extreme?
1 comment
I don’t think the things he said were alarming, but I would be concerned about someone drunk messaging me, especially so soon after us getting to know each other. I’d want to watch for a pattern of irresponsible behavior. It’s hard to know from one incident if this was just a weird one-off for someone or does he often get drunk and make poor decisions? Or does he just generally often make poor decisions?
Meeting his cousins is also hard to judge because family varies so widely from person to person. If his cousins are his main social group then this would be more equivalent to him going to a game with some friends and inviting you along too. I do think one date might be a bit soon to meet friends, but it’s not shocking or anything. Especially since going to a game with other people is a casual, safe sort of hang out – nothing likely to involve too much pressure on you.
So, I wouldn’t say this is clearly a problem, but I would advise caution. I’d give him a bit more time to learn more about what he is like.