**TLDR:** My Wife (25F) has cheated on me for around 2 years and I stuck with her. I (28M) cheated on her once and now our entire marriage is ending. I fell out of love with her and I am in love with girl I cheated with. My life is a disaster.
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So my Wife (25F) and I (28M) have been married for almost 6 years. We have 2 kids together and things have gotten really bad. The beginning of our marriage was great but we rushed into having our first kid. We had him and about 6 months later my wife became a Stay at home mom. I worked full time and we survived. I got a job opportunity for a much higher paying job but it was an entire career change. Going from Customer Service work to Factory work. I did it to provide for them. About 3 months into it, my Wife and I had our Best Friend (28M) over for drinks and games. The night got interesting and we got on the topic of Group Sex. It was an interesting conversation but it lead to nothing. A week or 2 later, I get home from work and our Best Friend had been at the house, my Wife approached me and said that the Best Friend had fondled her and she said she liked it. She urged me to let them sleep together. Against my better judgement I told her to do whatever she wanted but I would prefer them not.
Fast Forward about 3 weeks and my wife sends me a picture of her in lingerie. She then said that our Best Friend was at our house. She then send me a picture of her post sex. She said it was incredible. I got them when I went to break and I broke down crying in the bathroom at work. I hated that she did it but I understood that I allowed it to happen. I told her that I didn’t like the situation. She stated that it made her feel pretty and sexy to be wanted by 2 people and she loved it. She said she would make it up to me. I told her it didn’t matter. I felt broken. Then 2 days later she sends me another picture of her being used and a video of it happening. The same thing happened, I broke down and told her I wanted it to stop. She said that it didn’t matter it was just sex and she said that she would make it up to me. This continued the same situation for 2 months. Finally, one day I told her no more. I told her that this needed to stop. She unhappily agreed to stop doing it.
Well the Best Friend stopped coming around for a month or so. My Job had a change in staff which required me to go to night shift. I had to start covering it and there was no sign of my night shift going away. Our landlord decided to sell our apartment out from under us and we ended up preparing to move. The Best Friend started coming around again and we all agreed to move in together, under the agreement they wouldn’t sleep together. Well, we all move into this house and a month or so later, we had a small party and by the end of it everyone left but us three. We drank more and more and ended up having a threesome. I hardly remember it happening but I know it did based off pictures. I told them both it shouldn’t happen again and that would be the last time. Several months pass and my wife was acting strange and didn’t feel right. I betrayed my wife privacy and found pictures and videos of them having sex at our house. I confronted her about it and she denied everything. I told her I saw the pictured and videos and she freaked out. I told her that I couldn’t live with them having sex and screwing around while I was at work on night shift. She agreed they would stop.
Fast Forward to July and I had been on night shift going on 6 months and I was miserable. I assumed they were still messing around behind my back. I did the same thing and betrayed his privacy by getting on his computer and found more pictures and messages as soon as hours before hand. I was so upset, I absolutely went off on my wife and told her that I was done. She begged me to stay for our son and I told her that I did not know if I could. She promised to do better. I believed her and everything went back to normal. I quit my night shift factory job and went back to my Customer service job making almost the same as what I was making at the factory. Everything was fine. Jump to November. I had a hunch that maybe something was going on again. I left a phone recording as I left to cover a late shift and I came home to next day and got it. I listened to the recording and found them having sex again. I confronted both of them and they both begged for my forgiveness. I told them I didn’t want to do this anymore. She said they would stop, I could cover the house in cameras to make sure it wasn’t happening. I told them it wasn’t needed and if it happened again I would be done.
Well several months pass and my wife gets pregnant. Everything was fine. Several months pass and I gave it one more chance of seeing if anything was happening behind my back. I left the same phone and left for work. I come home that evening and my wife was acting weird. I attempt to find the phone and it is gone. The area where I hid it was completely cleaned up. I asked her if she saw it and she said no and urged me to come to bed. We laid down and she came clean that she slept with him again that morning. I lost it but I couldn’t leave due to the baby coming. But at this point I don’t even know if the baby is mine. I agree to stay for the baby but I was completely done. I hated my wife at this point and didn’t know if I still loved her. Well everything was fine at the house and at the beginning of this year the baby is born and it is hard to tell if it’s mine or his.
Now for my bad part. Well a couple of months ago I met someone at work and we start talking. This girl (21F) talked to me about her problems and I let her know about my mess of a marriage. We kept talking and things escalated. We have talked for 2 months and ended up sleeping together. I fell in love with this girl. About 3 weeks later my Wife grabs my phone out of my hands and goes through everything. She then blows up on me for cheating on her. I blow up on her for cheating on me. Everything gets headed between us and we start talking Divorce. I told her that I wanted a paternity test done on the Second Child. She agreed and we have sent the test off to find out. She starts begging me to pick her and to stop everything with this girl and I am struggling to pick. I don’t know what to do. Help Me?
Added Context: Best Friend still lives with us, I suspect they are continuing to sleep together.
Additional Context:
I let my wife talk me out of confronting him multiple times until the incident in November. That time I confronted him first and held nothing back. I told him I wanted to him stop sleeping with my wife, stop talking to her, hell don’t even be in the same room as her. We needed his help with covering bills since he brought in closer to what I made, where my wife doesn’t make that much money. He agreed to stop and then I confronted my wife with him in the room. She was pissed at him for confirming they still were sleeping together and that he agreed to let it end. She said she didn’t want to talk to him anymore. This went on for a few weeks where they didn’t speak, that I know of at-least.
To those saying I need to do a paternity test on both kids. Our first born looks just like me, I know he’s mine. The baby however has had a paternity test done and we are currently awaiting results which will be back this coming week.
33 comments
This is really unstable and untenable. I feel sorry for your kids.
Mate the fuck are you doing, yes your life is a mess and you leaving is the most intelligent decision you made in years.
The kid isn’t even yours, why are you even thinking it’s yours this guy is spending more time with her than you.
And at this point I would doubt the first kid is even yours.
Mate listen this will be pure hell if you stay, and i don’t mean it lightly you are going to die if you stay with this woman.
LEAVE, be with the other girl. BUT PLEASE go to a fucking therapist.
This is all toxic AF with a string of piss poor decisions made by all parties Get a divorce Focus on yourself and your kids and do not rush into a new relationship with this 21
Your marriage was over when she cheated, why are you even trying to stay with her when clearly you’d rather be with your lover?
Life’s too short to waste your time beating a dead horse
There is no going back to “normal” after cheating has happened in the relationship.
Your wife is a pathetic, manipulative cheating scumbag who lied to your face not once, not twice, not thrice, but four separate times while cheating on you daily. And somehow, I still came away from this story more mad at you!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! Have the tiniest shred of self respect and stop going back to your scumbag wife! Stop thinking about her supposed feelings or hardships, every word she says to you is a lie, every tear she sheds is a manipulative tool for her to get her way yet again. You worry about your first kid (if they are even yours), fine. Fight her for custody or pay your child support on time. Do not get suckered yet again into staying in this hell.
This story can’t be real. Like wtf who would stay with someone like this and move in with the person she’s fucking behind your back.
What are you doing? Do you not have any self respect or intelligence? Why is that dirt again living with you?! Why didn’t you leave her ass the first time?!
My God this is so beyond pathetic…
Slowest moving train wreck I’ve ever seen
I always wonder why society is collapsing and then I read shit like this and I get it
This whole thing is toxic and immature. Your relationship was doomed from the beginning and i would just split up to keep your kids from thinking this behavior is normal and ok
you’re “bf” is still living with you???? are you out of your mind?
just get divorced. you both are awful
Upateme!
I hope god gave you a big dick because he sure as shit shorted you on brains.
Op, you asked, demanded and begged for her to stop screwing around with this “best friend” and each time she ignored you. You want to know why? Because she knew you would do nothing. Now she sees that her place in your life is seriously under threat so start manipulation 101. I guarantee that if you pick her, she will soon be back to banging the other guy once she is sure the other woman is out of the picture. Even if your relationship with the other woman does not go anywhere, you need to get out of this toxic marriage. Child support is a small price to pay for peace of mind. Just one thing: do not sign any birth certificate until you are sure the baby is yours.
There’s no way this is real. Literally no one would MOVE IN with the man who slept with his wife. And why is there no mention of confronting the best friend?? I refuse to believe people are THIS much of a pushover.
Seriously, get out of this marriage and that house! Get you kid (kids, if baby is yours) out of that toxic environment. What are you teaching your son? And before you drag that poor girl into all of this, go see a therapist. Divorce your wife and only keep very minimal contact with her (just about your son). Work on yourself before you jump into another relationship!
Reddit everyday shows me what I will never tolerate in a relationship I’ll tell you that much
Seriously? Why would you stay, she repeatedly cheats on you with your friend and then you move in with him. Talk about the fox guarding the hen house, she claims she won’t sleep with him again then surprise she sleeps with him again. Cant wait for an update on the paternity test, the timing is right that this kid might not be your and then what. She’s a serial cheater and you continue to live with whose she cheating with and they continue to apologize then have sex again, I would say you opened up the relationship when you let her sleep with him then the 3 some. Honestly she won’t stop cheating and now you’ve stooped to her level and cheated. Just get divorced and get it over with, you can never trust again after so many lies. She can live happily ever after with her AP and you can too.
Who invites the man who slept with his wife multiple times to live with him? They proved they cannot be trusted
Why did you think this was a good idea?
Why would you still choose her after all she has done to you? Your kid(s) deserve a better example.
She got mad at you for doing exactly what she has been doing to you for years. You should send her pics of you and the new chick (with her consent ofc) so she really understands the fucking depravity of her actions
Leave her, they deserve each other.
You don’t respect or value yourself so how can you expect your wife and friend to respect you? Do you want your kids to grow up in a household where they constantly see you being disrespected by your wife and who knows who else she decides to sleep with.
Divorce her, get therapy and try to have a good coparenting relationship.
I lost count of how many times your “best friend” fucked your wife and then you forgave them. Now you are banging some 21 year old from work. This whole thing is a train wreck and I feel awful for both your kids, assuming the 2nd one is even yours.
Get help.
Haha nobody is that stupid, no way . Is this an example of negativ IQ ?
This was absolutely horrendous from start to finish.
You pushed the first domino by telling her that you didn’t care instead of shutting her urge to be fucked by YOUR BEST FRIEND immediatly.
I don’t want to blame you OP, but I beg you to take the little respect and dignity you have left AND DIVORCE HER. Fuck what your family can tell you. DIVORCE HER ASAP.
Just look at how many times you’ve told her to stop, and she kept going again and again! Worse, you *moved in* with the very man she’s keeps on cheating on you with, you literally gave her a free pass.
Please OP, do a paternity test for the second child, chances are the kid isn’t yours. Then go ahead and divorce. Then go low contact, just for the co-parenting. Your “best friend” and “wife” deserve each other.
And you deserve peace, mate !
Not blaming OP but why was the friend never kicked out???
Either this story is fake or you are the dumbest person on the planet. She sleeps with said guy a billion times and keeps telling you it wont happen again and then does it again amd the cycle repeats.
You are hopeless
Dude fucks your wife and you let him move in?! Serve him and your cheating wife eviction papers and grow a spine. Divorce your wife regardless of whose kid it is and co-parent.
As for the other girl, you don’t love her, I suspect you are just so emotionally battered and neglected that you find solace in anything remotely healthy.
So in short quit being a doormat, divorce your manipulate narcissist wife, and move on.
It sounds like you don’t want to be with your wife. You didn’t want to be with her before you developed feelings for this other girl. You are still living with the bestfriend and you know they’ve repeatedly lied over and over and over. It’s not suspecting at this point. You know they’re sleeping together and have fully lost the privilege of benefit of the doubt. To stay with her would to admit AGAIN that she can treat you however she likes and you will stay with her. I assume you haven’t been intimate with her, do you really think she’s remained faithful if you two weren’t having sex? I don’t mean to sound as if there could never be any hope of reconciliation between you two, but either you’re going to have to accept that will continue to cheat on you over and over and find some sort of peace with that or you’re going to have to leave her and find happiness elsewhere. Can you handle raising this second child if it turns out to biologically be your room mate child?
What the fuck did I just read…?
This marriage should have ended many years ago, where’s your dignity? why are you still in doubt? my stomach hurt just reading this
There is a saying , “Play stupid games , win stupid prizes” this is most applicable in your case ..
I’ve never read a post that pissed me off so much in my life lol.
This is either a really bad troll post or the biggest clusterfuck ever.