His ex told him he’s bad at it and he’s been hesitant towards it since. PIV is extremely pleasing so it’s never been an issue but it’s something I’d like to work on. I’ve insisted it feels great and is really good just to get over that hump of “you should be confident and do this more!”. But he kinda just lifts his face away and licks at it? He’s really good at fingering so he does that too and it’s solid. I just wish he’d idk like suck my clit a little I guess? Does anyone else have tips that I can tell him and advice on how to share this? I’m verbal during sex so I thought over time I’d try to think of ways to dirty talk while he’s giving me oral and suggest things I want.
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NEVER CRITICIZE! Infact the method is simple: You encourage him in his efforts, be tolerant of his early mistakes and praise him when he gets it right.
I could go on into details but hey read this exact post about [How To Politely Give Directions When Being Eaten Out](https://tichaz.com/2022/05/19/oral-directions/)
You could phrase it as wanting to try out some things to discover what you like. And then suggest him a few things such as sucking with different intensities, licking patterns and speeds, etc. and that you will tell him what you prefer. That way it’s not like you’re telling him outright what he does sucks but it’s more of a mutual discovery of your preference which he can then keep in mind for the future.
You could phrase it as wanting to try out some things to discover what you like. And then suggest him a few things such as sucking with different intensities, licking patterns and speeds, etc. and that you will tell him what you prefer. That way it’s not like you’re telling him outright what he does sucks but it’s more of a mutual discovery of your preference which he can then keep in mind for the future.
just dont criticize and encourage him. girls can be pain in the ass when it comes to this and some are very rude and dont know how to communicate it properly
Does he like blow jobs? Did you try 69? If he feels he is not good at it, he should be happy that you are trying to help him get good. Guys like to be good or think they are good at sex. I would keep telling him how good it feels when he is eating you out and how much you love to receive oral sex.
She Comes First is a good book. I’m 45 and have since my teen years worked at being elite at cunnilingus. This book is the best basis I can think of.
I’m honestly kind of sad that I’ll never get to go down on any lesbians. I feel like they’re likely the pros and I’ll never know where I really stand in the hetero little league. I would love a chance to go down on a panel of lesbian judges and get critiqued like I was on some kind of reality show.
My wife is very pleased with what she gets. ;).
Grab his head and move it up to your clit . When he hits it moan and gasp with pleasure. He is listening for you to tell him thru your actions what feels good.
During the act, grab his hair and guild him where you want him.
Then give him LOTS of compliments when he gets it right.
Let him know how good it feels.
He’ll love, and want more
Positive feedback. Give him detailed and specific guides or instruction and when he complies, reward him with positive feedback. Don’t lie, don’t be theatrical, just be enthusiastic. When he latches onto a technique, give him a “That’s it!” or “Yes, just like that!” or “Yes, baby!”. He can’t read your mind so you have to let him know when he’s doing a good job.”
So you may start with something like…
*”Can we try something? Moisten your lips and your fingers, okay. Now spread my lips a little bit with your thumbs. Now like, suck my clit, really softly at first. Just suck it”*
and if he gets it…
*”That’s it, baby. Keep doing that. Just like that. That’s good. Yes!”*
People respond to feedback, positive or negative. They just lock on to feedback. So when you give a response to something he does, regardless of what your feedback is, he’s going to remember that gets a reaction from you. You want to direct him and condition him to do the things you want and also keep your feedback positive and enthusiastic when he does those things so he’ll associate “this technique” or “that way of touching” with being good at sex and pleasing you. Your positive feedback, your pleasure, his self esteem boost, and his thus his pleasure will be his rewards; and he will learn to seek those things out. It’s helpful to have talks about things you’re curious about and want to try, as well.
Assume a sit up position on your couch or end ge of the bed where you can recline a little bit where he can be on his knees. let him go down on you like he does normally. Compliment his efforts regularly when he’s fingering you . Moan ,breath heavy, talk a little dirty , tell him you love it and so forth. Hearing you getting pleasure from his efforts may relax him and hopefully bossy his confidence.
Now for the tricky part:
In the position your in spread your legs wide open to fully expose your vagina . Put one hand behind his head or gently grab a hand full of hair and in a begging tone ask him to suck it while you pull him to your clit.
“Babe I want you suck my pussy please babe please”
I am hoping he won’t pull away at this point but if he does beg harder and keep pulling him in.
If he does start sucking and licking you let him know how amazing it feels . Moan a little harder. If he is doing it consistently tell him he’s going to make you cum(even if you’re not going to tell him anyway) this may be a time for you to fake an orgasm if you have to. After that go for the penetration.
Hopefully he can make you cum but if he doesn’t and you tell him he did it should really boost his confidence. I know lying is not nice but in this case The goal is to get him out of his shell. If he believes he made you cum(hopefully he does and you don’t have to lie) then I can’t see him having reluctance with giving you oral.
Sorry for the long response I hope this helps.
Personally I love open and honest communication. Tell him what you like and what you don’t.
In terms of techniques he should start with gentle exploration licks all around my labia slowly building a rhythm. I like the tongue to go in circles slowly all around. As I get aroused he can go faster in s constant rythym and close the circle to focus on my clit. This way I can in 2 minutes
Other ways are usually underside of his tongue and doing left to right motion. If feels amazing.
Another is using the tip of the tongue and licking up from the vag to the clit
Also he can use his suction to such out your clit and kind of pump it. It can feel insane
If he can he can figure you g.spot come hithers while going the above techniques. Which can make great squirting orgasms
Though the main thing is a guy must be in love with pussy and a selfless lover.
Tell him that every girl is different when it comes to getting them off and this is what you like. If he gets up set then just reassure him and tell him that it’s important to you in letting him know