I’ve been seeing someone for about 5 weeks and we have been exclusive for most of it. It has felt very healthy and the best one thus far; good communication, shared values and goals, chemistry is there, compatible, and we have fun.
Last night while in the middle of having sex, he says, “Are you gonna let me marry you?” And naturally so I was like, “Uuh what?” and he repeats himself and adds, “this p***y is wife material,” which I certainly don’t disagree with (I’ve always received compliments). Edit: I admit that last part was a bit cringe, but my point is that I’ve heard that from all men I’ve slept with; the new part of the original comment 😂 Thanks for having some humor with all of this!
About 30 minutes after everything, I was like, “Hey,I have a question for you,” and asked whether it was dirty talk or something slightly serious. And said both, that he feels strongly for me, and I asked if that is typical for him when he has a partner, and he said no.
Has anyone done this or been asked? I am not freaked out, but am curious if this is something that happens. We haven’t exchanged “I love you’s,” so I am chalking it up to dirty talk. He insinuated (correction: implied) it would not happen again.
Edit: Wow! I am somewhat glad the comments are all over the place. To be fair, this is the first time for any comment like that, and I gave him feedback (not ready for marriage talk and whatnot), and I know he will take it to heart. He has given me plenty other positive feedback (good communicator, emotionally intelligent, fun, etc.). I’ll assume it was in the moment dirty talk; no other type of intense conversation or phrases has been said. Thanks everyone! I haven’t dated since I was 16, so the past 18 months have been kind of a whirlwind of learning. I appreciate that not all have made me feel silly 😂☺️
46 comments
Ugh…I cringed
I mean, I think it’s kinda gross that a guy would even joke about committing to you over the quality of your lady bits . Then again. It’s 2022 and I’m old . I probably wouldn’t see that guy again 🤷🏻♀️
We all say things we regret saying outloud during love making. I wouldn’t think too deeply into it. You saw some honesty he wasn’t willing to divulge just yet
I’ll play devils advocate and say, some dudes just know.
Go with the flow and enjoy the ride, literally ha
Honeymoon stage. Some people are really intense right away but eventually the newness fades away
He seems pretty immature tbh and that phrase would give me pause because it’s quite objectifying.
Dirty talk when you don’t know someone’s style is kinda cringy in general. This comment kinda made me laugh. Wife pussy. lol
One time I had a partner say, “who owns this pussy?” I was stunned for a second, but replied with, “me! you’re on a rental agreement” We both started laughing and that helped bring the comment from, kinda, cringe to silly.
I wouldn’t look too deeply into it. He’s just really into the pussy making him think he’s in love. Been there lol.
Just a compliment.
When you know, you know. The man I married and I were similar. There was never a question that we wanted to be together from day one. We made it 21 years, but there have been some issues that we both let go and we are now separated. I still love him to pieces.
It’s like the guys that say I love you during sex after a couple weeks. They don’t mean it, they feel strongly but they just got caught up in the moment. Don’t read too much into it
Ew ick ew.
This sub is absurd. Everything is an ender. Who cares. He said some stupid. Especially in the moment. It’s best to over analyze everything a person says. If this dude is consistently talking nonsense like this then sure. It was one sentence of pretty little significance. Who cares.
This is a hilarious thing to say. Have a sense of humor. Made me laugh
Mood killer. If I had a woman say something similar during sex, like “this pussy is wifey material,” I’d go soft so fast there’s be an audible sucking noise from the blood leaving my erection.
The sentiment is sweet, but lousy execution. He respects you enough to consider you wifey material. He should have chosen different words.
So, treat him like a husband and wait to see the feedback.
Yes. I have had similar experiences, but I don’t think I’ve ever taken dirty talk seriously. Dirty talk is based on things we romanticize, so, maybe a woman wanting to be asked to be married by him is one of his kinks he doesn’t talk to anyone about.
I wouldn’t put a lot of energy into it, tbh.
🚩🚩🚩 I had a hookup tell me he was going to f*ck me until I loved him after about 2 weeks of seeing each other. I let it slide because it was during sex (even tho I found it weird). Forever after that we were on different pages. I asked him not to say things like that but it only continued until I got the ick major
My ex used to say this a lot in the first year of our relationship, and it started during sex to begin with. Then it transpired into other aspects like when I cooked a nice meal or something. He had me convinced, so convinced that I started debating actually marrying him. ..turns out he probably says this to everyone he meets within a few weeks, like he did to me, as he admitted very recently he cannot commit to one person and just “gets off on the chase” in the first few months, then gets bored. My experience should not reflect in yours, your guy may of just said it and meant it in that moment, who knows.. I guess just see how this plays out in the coming weeks?
The first time that I was with my current SO I asked her to marry me which is not typical of me. I know it’s very cringe but it is what happened and after 7 years together we are engaged to be married next year. So I’m living proof it does happen but I also realize we are not the norm. As long as you both realize that things can change and usually do it can but not always be perfectly fine. I will again stress that it is not normal but does happen from time to time. It’s nothing to worry about if it’s looked at in a healthy way
You always receive compliments on your pussy? That’s a weird thing to throw out there. So what kind of compliments?
Five weeks? That’s all the more he’s gonna wait before busting semi jokey marriage talk and stupid shit like “This pussy is WIFE material” out? 😬
If it’s a one-off it’s fine. If he actually starts trying to seriously talk to you about marriage this early on, well. Guard your birth control if you’re on it.
Everything aside, five weeks in is really early to bring that up. I’d take that as a hard red flag
I’m trying to figure out what constitutes a vagina to be “wife material”. They all feel pretty much the same to me. Kind of an odd thing to characterize.
Nah don’t read too much into it. Just in the heat of the moment type of phrase lol
If it’s during sex, I don’t trust anything being said haha. Chalk it up to dirty talk and don’t think twice about it.
So hear me out… my mom passed over a decade ago and my parents didn’t give many details about their early dating. They are both matter of fact people, they were together for over 40 years. He remarried and my step mom understands the romance, thankfully.
My dad has said several times that he “wasn’t doing cartwheels” when he met my mom, he was worried that I was letting emotions run ruin. But it just felt flat to me. I think my step mom realized this, because after they met he added:
“But I knew within a month there was no better woman for me.”
They didn’t get engaged for several years and then another few, because my mom was focusing on her career.
**TL;DR some people know within a month**
But yeah OP, his delivery could have been better.
Idk man, people be saying all kinds of shit during sex lol
That’s not the correct use of “insinuated.” You meant to use “implied.” An insinuation is essentially a negative implication. For example, “he insinuated I have bad hygiene.”
Uhhh what? So much cringe. Bro has been watching to much dumbass porn or something.
Sounds like he’s still learning how to dirty talk and he really overextended! lol wow
I love yous should definitely come before “serious marriage discussions”, dirty talk or no. It… must have been really good for him.
I don’t think it’s the cringiest thing ever (people say intense/weird stuff sometimes in the heat of the moment) but I wouldn’t read too much into unless he backs it up with action indicating he’s serious about you long term. I don’t see any reason to believe he isn’t, but hold off on expectations til then. I’ve definitely had guys say similar flowery promises while railing me and most were just short term flings (or they turned into stalkers once I tried to end things lmaooo)
I guess what I’m saying is, not necessarily a red flag or a green flag. Get to know this guy better and until then, reserve judgment 🙏🏼
i have no experience with this but i’m kinda disgusted right now… 😵💫
Didn’t this happen on Big Bang Theory.
I’ve had some pretty negative reactions from women when I tell them I’m really not interested in getting married again. Short of some scripted manic pixie dream girl that doesn’t actually exist I really don’t see a situation in which I’d ever want to get married again. Doesn’t mean I’m not interested in a long term committed relationship; I got out of my divorce relatively financially unscathed and I just don’t see a reason to set myself up to get fiscally wrecked when a woman gets board of me after ten years and figures she can do better.
Ew…that is super gross. That would be an immediate no from me, lol.
It’s a modern cultural norm to value independence and delay “permanent” attachment.
This would have been normal in every society throughout history.
This isn’t advice but your post reminded me of a convo I had with my ex a couple of months in. In summary, he said to me, “I wanted to ask you about something you said the other day when we were having sex. You said ‘I love you’ and you know, I really like you a lot, but I’m not ready to go there.”
I was SO confused because I absolutely did NOT say I love you. What I probably said was I love your dick or something, and he misheard. But more importantly it was during sex so it doesn’t count. I also said “tell me you love me” to a hookup during sex before. Why?? Who knows what goes on in our brains at those moments? Mine sure doesn’t function at all and I would hate to be held responsible for whatever weird shit comes out.
But I will add, my ex had major problems with emotional availability and it’s what eventually ended the relationship so maybe I should have paid a little more attention.
Last year, second time having sex with someone, after a rather intense orgasm she said “Oh God, can you please fuck me forever?”
Instantly realized what she had said and freaked out. I tried reassuring her that things said in the moment lack filter and we were good.
Spoiler: I did not get to fuck her forever…
That, and a few other things that caused her to reflect on whether she was ready for something good and/or serious, had her end things after a month.
Don’t worry, I have bad habit of telling women I’ll give them a baby. This ends up being a weirder to explain. We all have odd things we like to say heat of moment. Don’t sweat it, also don’t read into it
I’d laugh it off and not worry about it too much unless it comes up again in other ways.
He’s (51/m) told me (40/f) he loves me when he’s drunk. Multiple times now but now we’ve talked about how I don’t believe him but he still says it. Says he wants to have sex with me for the rest of his life. No “wife pussy material” but best he’s had in his life.
Idunno, sometimes I believe him and sometimes I don’t. Either way I have strong feelings for him so it’s not the worst things to be told even if it’s during sex and/or intoxicated.
Guess I’m old. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: spelling
I have never actually proposed to a woman after such a down of time nor even thought “this pussy is wife material”. I think the guy’s a douche and I would end it because the cringe is probably just the tip of the iceberg. I can’t imagine a world in which you regret letting him go.
Just don’t rely on anything a man say during sex. Rule of thumb #1 to #10 lol
I once asked a guy to talk to me whilst we were fucking. He keep doing bits, and I was responding well. Once when I was nearly there, he leaned in and said ‘I want my kids to call you mam’ (mum for a non northern person) and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Could not stop. Had to end. Hurt him loads. Recount the story often. Did in fact have a kid with him who on occasion, calls me mam 😂😂😂
Yeah he does not want to marry you 🤣