title explains it pretty well, but i (20f) used to have a pretty high sex drive, it was around the time i met my current bf of almost 3 years. we had sex once or more every time we met and that went on for months – almost years. but the past year, year and a half, i’ve had such a low sex drive i get disgusted just thinking about it. i rarely even masturbate and even that makes me cringe. it’s not gotten better, what do i do… it makes me feel like such a bad gf that i only have sex with my bf maybe once a month? even some months we don’t even do it once. he’s very sexual and i feel like i’m ruining the connection in our relationship because we never ever get sexual anymore. and i even asked him once, if we didn’t have sex for years – if he’d break up and he said yes. now of course he isn’t in this relationship purely for sex but i know it’s a big part for him.
help
6 comments
Depression can have huge impact on sex drive. Any medication you might be on can also have same effect. Or you ain’t that in to him anymore. Hope these help
Were you not enjoying sex with him at all or has it become a chore over time?
There’s so much potential to give you stupid advice on this issue so i’m gonna say maybe get a mediator a couples sex therapy? Or just for you as an individual so you can talk it through and make sense of it.
Your pills could be the culprit, there’s always a possibility. I’d talk to your doc first. Sounds like hormones to me.
Try reading Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel. A good book on desire in long term committed relationships.
Her TEDx on YouTube is also quite interesting.
You could try starting a freeuse dynamic where sex happens when any of you wants it and schedule intimacy time daily when sex can, but doesn’t have to, happen.
If you have responsive desire and you consider your BF a nice guy, this change in dynamic may get you where you need to be.
Good luck 🍀 and don’t forget to have fun!
Over the counter Maca supplement. Dear god, changed my life forever. I’m not a doctor so do your own research. I am so thankful a random stranger on Reddit told me about it!