My husband always talks about politics.. I have talked to him about me not wanting to have a conversation about politics because of our views are different and he tends to get mad over my views. The last time he talked about this was when his sister told him Trump needs to be the president again and she liked him. He said that he is glad Biden is president because he is better than Trump. They argued for a while and his sister said whatever and left it alone. He didn’t listen and tried to keep things going until she felt uncomfortable and left. Then he talked to me about it but I was listening to him instead of talking. He then kept asking me if I heard him because I didn’t answer him.
When he talked to me about politics, it was about the president and then he switched it to the ‘free’ money everyone got. Stating the only people who should have gotten that was the ones who had jobs and kids. I told him, I do not agree with him but in away I did. Yes, it was ‘free’ money but we don’t know everyone story or if they have jobs, etc.. I also told him that if it doesn’t hurt us in anyway then why focus on other people. Like the food stamps, his cousin is homeless(her choice) and she get almost $300 in food stamps, while I work my ass off and still can’t make it because food prices and gas prices went up. He says that she doesn’t deserve them because A. she lives in a shelter that feeds her 3x a day and B. she chose to be homeless and C. she doesn’t have kids living with her. I agree with him about his cousing because she is capable of working, she can work but she chooses not too. He then said food stamps should only be for those who have kids. I do not agree with that and I voiced that to him, he got angry because I didn’t agree that only those who have kids should only get food stamps. I don’t know anyone’s story and I can’t judge but a statement. Yes, I do judge his cousin on food stamps because why does she get almost $300 of FS, is capable of working, and lives in a shelter that feeds her 3x day. I don’t think it is fair because I got denied of FS for being over the income limit. I have kids, I have a FT job and I can’t barely make it, even with a budget. I budget $200 to $300 every two weeks for food and now that is tight as the food prices are high. I told him that in some cases people lose their job, lose their home, or things along that line. Some people can’t make it with just their income because maybe they can’t work so their on SSI and for a single person the max is $841 a month, they have rent, other bills and once they are done with that they maybe have $30 left for the whole month. Judging someone you don’t know is just like someone judging you when they don’t know you.
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Similar issue with my wife about just going on and on about something like it’s a fight to win. I have just stopped arguing back and let her talk because I feel like she just needs to vent rather than listen to me interjecting. I still slip up here and there and get into it with her but silence has proved to be a strong remedy.
In your case I’d agree that everyone has the right to their own opinions and should be able to express them on political topics. I just don’t think your husband is listening to anyone. This isn’t just your husband this is the state of the general political discourse in this country.
Have you had a serious talk with him about this?
Oh no I love it because then you get to see who’s stupid real fast. For example, my in-laws were all anti Trump people so when they voted Biden and he totally ruined everything I love to point it out they got what they voted for. See I don’t openly attack people’s political views but when they make it a constant thing to put others down and then it backfires they deserve it. People are free to vote for whoever they want but I draw the line when it’s used to make personal attacks against others. Part of why I’m not religious, it’s the same sort of stuff with people putting you down because you don’t think like they do.
As far as your husband goes, he just sounds like an elitist who lacks empathy for others. Really don’t think it’s a political thing at all just shows a terrible character trait. Making blanket statements about people without knowing their situation is wrong.
You should point out to him the irony that he votes in the very people who allow his sister to be a bum and a grift so he should be encouraging her behavior, not criticizing it. Yea I don’t talk politics to my wife she is a zealot and lucky for me I live in 2022 and not 1522 because her kind of political zealotry would have me burning at the stake. I decided some years ago that the moment the religious zealots lost the ability to control peoples lives through religion they moved on and got into politics. It’s sort of funny because even now the political zealots look more out of touch than the people you would’ve in the past labeled “evangelicals”.
My husband and I have very similar views and I still don’t want to talk about it as much as he does. Seriously though, I couldn’t be married to someone who had different beliefs than me.
We should hook up your husband and my wife so they can get it out of their system. As soon as I get home from work I have to get a mind dump of all the political news she’s watched all day.
She can tell it stresses me out and then gets mad at me for not wanting to engage n conversation. It’s very frustrating.
I hate talking politics. To the point where I stopped watching the news a decade ago and if conversations turn political I just turn and walk away without saying a word. One tactic I will use if someone incessantly is trying to get me to engage in political talk is to go scorched earth on them. So like when some friends kept on and on about another country I would finally say “we should just bomb the whole country so there is nothing left” or they talk about a group of people doing something I’ll say “we should execute them all”. It is shocking to them and it sounds totally ridiculous and it shuts them up. They’ve learned not to discuss politics around me because my answers when they irritate me enough basically lead to the total destruction of mankind.
Those aren’t even my views. I’m very much a live and let live person and feel like people should leave each other alone as long as they’re not harming anyone else. But the shock on peoples faces at my comments when they’ve disrespected my request to leave me out of conversations like that is just too good to pass up.
I’m a bit confused, he is kind of a left leaning centrist and you lean further left? When there are huge gaps I think, why even have a relationship if you’re so different on core issues of like, the world? But when it is a smaller gap I feel like agree to disagree on some things works. Unless they involve your own kids or something, then… good luck.
I think you’re both kind of judgmental though. Like, you say a cousin being homeless is “her choice”? I mean, maybe on some technical level, but people don’t just choose to be homeless unless there are serious issues with their potential living spaces. And $300 in food stamps isn’t even that much, especially as you noted with food and gas prices going up.
Very interesting. I might be one of the guys like your husband, who is easily frustrated by politics. I’ve got not so much political views, but mathematical views on how a country should be structured to run, and it hurts my soul when people act as if running a county is an un-ending chain of compromises that lead to and then stem from the same perceived unsolvable or unknowable problem.
Spending, etc, is similar to the routing software Google maps use – there are some optimal routes, there are some longer ones, and there are some unfavorable ones, etc. I get it. And when people vary from that, I get saddened, and sometimes I say so. But I like hearing people’s opinions – it helps me to learn why I perceive the world as sub-optimised, and find a more stable perspective, if I can buy into whatever craziness is believed-in these days, that drives people in their erratic directions!
I’ve converted my wife from her far from centre position opposite me, to a non-left/right realm where the extremes of left and right are seen as the same things, and the control agenda vs self reliance + unified village agenda is the key variable/continuum, with left and right being the methods, not the belief system.
If your husband is this bad, tell him to go read the constitution a couple of times over (it’s oretty short, and surprisingly plain English) – it should give him the confidence to not have to slam his position down your throat, at every chance. I find, if you’re right, you don’t have to preach. You just seed ideas, and people come to understand.
Take that approach with him, see how he responds?
Politics for many people has become worse than cults. All logic goes out the window and if you challenge their political god many will take it as a personal nattack.
I usually find a way to talk about ways for both extremes to find middle ground and and don’t deviate from that position.
For instance on birth control my stance is both parties want less abortions. So offer more or free birth control and there will be fewer abortions. Very simple common sense middle ground position since neither extreme will switch sides.
Regarding inflation both parties gave full support to covid relief (totaling 6 trillion), both parties were in office for the last 14 years when interest rates were zero. The Dems wanted low interest rates and Trump wanted negative rates. Now we are realizing the brunt of what both parties did. I blame everyone, both political parties, and us (everyone) for voting them in.
That’s the only way I can keep the political cults from having a complete melt down during discussions. Things still get heated but trying to bring more nuance helps.
it sounds like you don’t hate talking about “politics”, it sounds like you hate discussing things with a rude, inconsiderate partner. The fact is that we SHOULD be talking about politics. The problem is that many people don’t know HOW to talk about politics in a civil, rational way.
I avoid 2 subjects both at work and in my personal life.
1. Religion
2. Politics
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For not wanting to talk politics, your entire post is basically politics with very little mention of your marriage.
In my state, you have to have almost nothing in a bank account to qualify for food stamps. So yay, you are doing better than she is.
If you want to get mad about who gets those tax dollars, maybe don’t get mad at the people who are getting them but get mad at the politicians who gave huge tax breaks to corporations and the already-wealthy. That means there is less tax money available for the public to use for various issues, like food stamps. One particular party and in that party, one particular president is famous/infamous for doing this to a big degree.
So politics do affect your life. But your husband should respect your request not to tak about them if you don’t want to.
I think I would try saying you don’t want to discuss it. If he keeps going, just say it again. Don’t waiver. Don’t get pulled in to the discussion. Don’t get angry, just don’t participate.
Wut
yes politics are a joke and ESPECIALLY NOW lol
Age old mantra. Never discuss politics or religion. Couldn’t be more true today than ever. At least in the past you could agree to disagree. Not today. If you don’t agree they want to punish you and in some cases try to get you to lose your job. Mentally we have a lot of people that just aren’t all there.
It’s funny that your husband likes Biden because he sounds like a trump supporter. In fact, you both sound like trump supporters so I don’t see the problem.
My husband and I have similar views but I often remind him and others that it’s not red vs. blue, but actually them (politicians) vs. us. The corruption, wasteful spending, lack of helping is only getting worse so it’s pointless obsessing over a side because neither side cares about us but instead them and their party being elected.
My short answer is: Try changing the subject into something else if you can, I know it’s hard to agree to disagree for some. Almost every guy will stop dead in his tracks if you’re in the time and place to give him a blow job 🤷♀️. But I understand some conversations and situations can’t be avoided.
Some people are definitely more passionate about politics than other people. And contrary to what people are saying, I don’t think different views politically are a hard-core reason to be incompatible. I think it depends on the level of differences in politics you hold.
Obviously there’s some ways I couldn’t see people being compatible when sharing different views of opinion on things like abortion, trans rights, etc. But not everyone is democratic or republican because of those things, some people prefer the system. The way taxes are handled, the way Healthcare is handled, the way war is handled, the way general politics comes into play in general. Those things I can’t see being a huge impact on a relationship. It may cause a squabble here and there, but it’s not a completely different world view or view of life.
People function in relationships following different religions, and sometimes it works- sometimes it doesn’t.
People function in relationships following different cultures and lifestyles, sometimes it works- sometimes it doesn’t.
I wouldn’t say I’m one who hates talking about politics, especially because I honestly sympathize with both political parties. And I also think politics is a big hoax and they all lie and say what people want to hear to get their place in office.
However, even though I enjoy a political conversation here and there, I don’t like having political conversations with people who are so head strong about it they get enraged, and I try to avoid discussing my thoughts with people I know have a completely opposite opinion (which sounds like you). I’d rather keep the peace. My parents are republican, my grandma is a Democrat. And I don’t even bother talking about politics with her ever. I just love her and enjoy the time we spend together when we have the opportunity to see each other. Sometimes me and my Dad will talk politics, but we both would rather discuss something else. I mean gas prices, school shootings, riots, and all these things are pretty morbid things to center in on.
So hopefully you’re husband will come to a place where he realizes some things aren’t worth the debate, and just learn to love the loved ones around him every time he gets the chance.
I thinks it’s important to be able to discuss political and societal issues that you are passionate about with your spouse. Even if you have differing views you can do it an a healthy way. Intellectual stimulation, to me, is important in a relationship.
you go live in a shelter & get fed 3x a day if you’re so damn jealous of what’s avaialble in a shelter. jesus christ
Complains about being taken advantage of by working and not being able to make it.
Brags about not participating in the process that could help her situation
You might not care about politics, but your boss, your landlord, your bank, your grocery store chain, your gas company, and every other non-person entity you interact with on a daily basis DOES care about politics and uses it to affect your life.
I guess from being downvoted to oblivion you understand why you shouldn’t post about politics in an “open minded” sub.
I didn’t read this post because the answer to the title question is “YES I hate talking politics.”
Kinda seems like you don’t mind talking about it. If you find it stressful (I know I do, because people are dumb, or worse, dumb and angry), take up something else. I don’t touch politics with a 10-ft pole more than perhaps a 3 minute conversation several times around election time. It’s not worth it.
Not caring about politics is a privilege. So lucky you.
I took into very careful consideration of my life partner’s values. I strongly believe that what you vote for indicates a person’s true and personal values. There is zero chance I would be with someone with such opposing views and different values as me. We don’t mind talking politics with each other because we’re pretty close in our values.
My SIL will get with men with 180 political views than herself and then whine that they can’t talk politics or how they simply can’t talk about certain subjects. Welp. She doesn’t have to be with who she chooses to be with. I find this limitation stifling. Why would anyone want to live where they can’t truly be themselves and speak their mind in their own home
I am also a firm believer that a person should be free to express themselves in their own home. Home is my “safe space” as well as my husband’s. Hence why either one of us can feel safe to express our views. While we may disagree on some details or specifics, our general overall political views are similar. Now, there may be times where one of us is topped out on politics, hell, on other subjects too, so we might let the other know we’re not on the mood at that moment and we respect that and not discuss whatever topic the other wants to. We’ll take the discussion for a later time.
For the most part, no topics are banned from our home. I want the both of us to feel free and safe to discuss anything. Especially for the hard conversations needed to work on our marriage.
I feel like these kinds of conversations are only fun when they are coming from a place of genuine curiosity about the other person, and neither of you are coming from that place.
Arguing with anyone who gets angry about politics and isn’t open to other perspectives is annoying. There are plenty of people in my life I’ve cut off because they’re like this. I also have some friends of differing political views that I’ve stayed friends with because we can have a civil conversation and learn a lot form listening to the other. I don’t agree but I still respect them.
My husband and I started off having opposite views and we’re not exactly the same but he’s come around more to my side because I make a compelling argument. In fact talking to him with his differing views helps me to make better arguments.
It’s more about respect than politics.
My husband and I have very different ways of talking about issues but somehow find that we aren’t that far apart in our values. The problem is that the way we speak sounds more extreme than it actually is when we break it down. That being said, while our views aren’t largely far apart on most issues I would say we don’t share the same thoughts on many things.
We try to understand each other but I very much dislike talking politics. To me it feels like we are just (1) spouting sayings we hear from the media or somewhere else or (2) speak in a way as if one political group is better/lower/higher than the other.
I refuse to live a life of extremes and have met many who have had opposing views as I but were able to talk to me like a human and I was able to better understand where they were coming from instead. I dislike any talk that becomes a discussion about judgement.
I think the whole world hates talking about politics. But if no one ever did we wouldn’t have checks on our leaders. There is a healthy balance.
Not to belittle your problems but this is a pretty typical marriage issue. I know it’s not politically correct to “generalize” but REALITY don’t always match PC.
Men often likes to voice their political views and women often likes to be more subtle.
You can either choose to continue making this an issue or take it with a grain of salt.
Me and my wife has chosen the latter.
I’m a foreigner here on the US and not allowed to vote so I’m neither Republican or Democrat.
As I grew up in a socialist Country I hate Sociaism in any way, shape or form, thus regardless of Trumps mean tweets or touch of narcissism I did not want to see Biden as president.
My wife would tease me about it and tell her she’d put up Biden signs in our yard last election.
I teased her back and told her if she did, she’d be sleeping next to them. 😉
Anyhow, that’s how we deal with politics.
People that talk about politics to fill in conversation are so toxic
I really believe people are so depressed and unfulfilled they need a team to root for. Politics give these people a purpose. Sad part is people divide themselves before they even get to know people for who they are.
My husband and I have almost the exact same political views, and that’s good because we’re married. I’d never stay with someone who didn’t agree with me in this regard.
You just talked a lot about politics for someone saying they don’t want to talk about politics.
I don’t think differences in beliefs matter if you don’t fight or disrespect each other about it, but he clearly does. I only really enjoy talking politics with my husband because he’s so light hearted and funny about it, and all the senile people America elects.
Omg I hate to talk politics.
I live in Canada in a very political city.
OTTAWA
Even if you don’t know a lot about Canada, most know this city because of the gong show going on with our prime minister and the convoys. It’s literally a shit show on steroids.
Apparently it’s going to be crazy on Parliament on Canada Day when everyone returns to protest.
It’s all over the news. Social media.
It’s annoying.
I have similar political views as you (from what I can read in your post) and I came here to say reddit is not your friend for this post. 😂 Almost every group I’m in is very left. I try to keep my political views off here because it literally isn’t worth the argument.
Before I get down voted (I know you guys have already started 💕) I’d like to add I’m absolutely NOT conservative by any means. I support LGBTQ+, I am pro choice, and I believe in climate change. I just have other things I agree with the right on just like i have things i agree with the left on. I’m moderate.
I’d avoid political conversations with your husband. You’re both set in your views. Why have the conversation when it isn’t going anywhere. Political conversations are for when someone isnt educated on the topic. Then that person needs to hear both sides before making a choice.
This can sometimes be a problem in my marriage too, there are certain things that lead to big fights with my wife and I when it comes to politics, it’s better when we keep it out of the conversation but sometimes neither one of us can help ourselves.
My husband and I have similar views but we didn’t not agree on trump for a very long time. We now do and I will not say what side of the aisle we are on.
But there are 2 things we don’t really discuss and that’s politics and football. We may lightly touch on either subject but we both have opposing views on each and will not let it ruin our marriage and partnership.
ETA. The thing is though, you can have these views and they can be different from others but you are not going to ‘talk some sense’ into someone. It’s just better to walk away than argue. You won’t change their mind. And if that person chooses to have a closed mind, that’s on them. Not you.
I’m thankful my girlfriend is as left-leaning as I am or maybe even more. I could never date or marry a Trumpy asshole. Why would you want to be with someone who would tell you what to do with your body, who would treat your LGBTQ kid poorly and try to suppress them, who would treat people with a lack of empathy generally, who would oppose your children’s vaccinations and education? What a fucking shitshow today’s radicalized conservative is.
I do too. I get it. My husband and I agree on core morals and a few other important points, but then I feel like I’m going nuts at times. Also he just loves talking politics while I’m tired and burnt out on them. People aren’t going to agree and I just don’t know what to do in the current climate so I don’t want to think about it anymore than necessary.