Three and a half years ago, I went on a date with this guy. We work in the same industry, and we matched on tinder at a conference. After chatting via text for a few days after the conference, we decided to grab drinks two weeks later when I was in his town. Nothing about our texting was very special. At one point he did call me “stunningly beautiful,” but other than that, we just asked each other the typical questions you would ask someone you’re trying to get to know.

While out together on our “date,” he didn’t give me any compliments or make any physical contact. Truthfully, I didn’t know if it was a date or just two professionals grabbing drinks and chatting. At the end of the “date,” he said, “So, are we taking one Uber or two…” Because I was genuinely interested in dating this man, I told him I needed to get back to my hotel.

The next day, he didn’t seem to have any interest in texting me. So, I let it go and we lost contact. Three months later, we were once again at the same conference. I sent him a text asking him if he wanted to grab a drink somewhere. He declined.

Fast forward to today: I am now in a position where I might be working with him quite closely in the same city for a few months this fall. Just the thought of it gives me butterflies. I’ve been thinking about him constantly, and I can’t believe my interest in him is still alive and well.

Should I continue to have hope that dating this man is a possibility? Have his past actions shown that he is really and truly not interested? Did he just feel rejected when I didn’t want to sleep with him right away?

For context: I am in my late twenties, and he is in his early thirties. It’s been three years since we’ve seen each other in person.

6 comments
  1. Do you know that he is still single? If it’s been 3 years he could be in a committed relationship at this point.

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