How would you feel about being proposed to using their mother’s ring who has already passed on?

45 comments

  2. I would feel so honoured to wear her ring proudly as she is an amazing amazing woman (still alive but if she were to pass.)

  4. I guess it would depend. Did I know the mother? Did their mother have a daughter/niece/sister who would be more deserving of the ring than I am? Ultimately, it would be an honor, but I’d have a full conversation with any relative to make sure there isn’t any animosity with me wearing it.

  7. Nope! It would never be “my” ring. I would constantly feel like I had to live up to her name, and while I would obviously be careful with a ring that was mine first, if something happened to a ring that used to belong to my mil… Well, that would have a whole extra layer of “Fuck!” Added that I don’t want! Besides, I feel like the mothers ring should go to any children she has as a keepsake, or grandchildren.

  9. 1) did I like the mother and what does the symbol mean to SO? I’m not wearing a memorial to an awful human being and I’m not wearing a symbol of being SO’s backup mommy

    2) is there any other family member who wants it? My ring will be mine. If there is going to be family drama about it, I will pass.

    3) is it something I would wear? I’m not wearing something that doesn’t fit my style just for history’s sake

    So like many other things, it depends on context and communication.

  12. I’d actually love that. I love jewelry that has been handed down. I wear mostly things from my grandma and mom and only two pieces I bought. I’m not a jewelry person but if it has sentimental value that actually deeply moves me. And if he truly loved his mom then I see it as a symbol that he loves me too. Also, I don’t want someone to splurge a freakish amount of money on me to make a commitment, so I’d love not feeling guilty that it cost so much for him to get (resizing and fixing up the ring isn’t as expensive as buying a brand new ring).

  13. If loves me and he’s happy with it and I love him, a yes is a yes; with his mother’s ring or not.

  14. i wouldn’t like that. it’s of incredible value, yes. but i want ny engagement and wedding to be about my partner and myself, completely. i’d treasure their mom’s ring as an heirloom forever, but i want my partner to put thought into my ring. to show they truly know me and what i like. someone’s, anyone else’s, would feel wrong.

  15. I wouldn’t really want that, but the thought is sweet. I’m not having children, so passing family heirlooms to me isn’t the best plan.

  16. Honored and happy my fiancé wouldn’t have to blow thousands on a new ring. What type of engagement ring I received wasn’t a big deal to me. What I cared more about was marrying an amazing kind man. A ring has absolutely nothing to do with a happy marriage.

  17. I wouldn’t want to. Solely because if my marriage didn’t last, I wouldn’t want that attached to ring that was my Mom’s.

  20. I would feel sweet, special and original in terms of the ring.
    It would be a joy

  21. Nah, I want my own ring. I’d be really appreciative if they gifted me a piece of their mum’s jewellery in general, but not when it’s something I’d (hopefully) be wearing forever.

  23. Honored – but I think the more common thing to do nowadays is to propose with the family ring and offer to pick out a ring of her choice together.

  24. I can see a certain sentimental value there, but I don’t want someone else’s jewelry; especially if it’s not my taste. It would also never really be mine.

  25. I’d be concerned that they saw me in a more “maternal” light or mixed wife and mother too much. I wouldn’t accept it, personally.

  28. I think it would be quite honorable! I’d feel really flattered to receive an heirloom.

  29. All honesty here, I would feel honored but would want a new ring at the actual wedding or anniversary that is “mine”. The moms ring would be given to our kids so it can stay in the family……I planned that out way too far in my head but hey, welcome to my brain!

  31. I have my mother in laws ring. My husband put a new stone in it so it’s not exactly the original. I love it

  34. I would feel very honored and have a hard time to decline such an act (but I would prefer a ring of my own as the other ring never would have felt like it was truly meant for me).

  37. My ring was my husband’s great-grandmother’s. I found it very sentimental and extra special. It felt like a truly welcoming and loving gesture. I’ve proudly worn it for 14 years now

  38. I think it’s sweet and extra special that they think you’re good enough to wear their mother’s ring.

  40. It depends. Do I like the ring aesthetically? Did I know and like their mother? Do they have any other relatives who might want the ring themselves? Is this just for proposal purposes, or do they expect me to wear the ring for the rest of my life? (I probably wouldn’t want to wear it on a regular basis because I would be too worried about losing it.)

    In short, it can be a very nice idea, but there are various reasons it might not work out well in practice.

  41. I ain’t your mother, and why do you want to think about your Mother/Son relationship in our romantic relationship?
    It feels weird.

  42. Like already said I wouldn’t be really comfortable with it as I feel like it would be a “family treasure” and never will it really feel like mine

  44. It’s a no for me. Look, his mother is great but the ring is just not mine. Plus he has a sister, it should be her keepsake or even his father’s. I want my ring to be picked out by him, with his touch. I want it to be special to our relationship, not his parents.

  45. For me it’s a big no. Keep the ring as a keepsake. I would like my own ring, even if it’s not as beautiful as the moms. Depends on the woman but kind of a big risk to take.

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