I (18 F) started talking to this guy (25 m) that I had met at the gym. I was considering going out with him, but after having talked to him on the phone and learning a little bit more about him I didn’t feel comfortable going out with him just yet. Being only 18 I haven’t had a lot of experience with “dating” in the adult sense, I told him this and asked if we could maybe do something a little more casual if we went out, he did not take that well and sorta pushed me to scheduling a traditional date with him, even though it made me very anxious. He also treated me like a child on the phone and it was really condescending. One second I was a child the other I was a grown ass adult. After talking to him on the phone I cancelled the date he persuaded me to schedule and told him I wasn’t ready to date him and that I needed time. He asked if we could just be friends, I said no. But after a day he asked to be friends again to which I replied “I guess.” He now has asked to see me about 5 times and I’ve only been talking to him for about a week. Even though he says we’re “friends” I can’t help but think he might have an ulterior motive. I found out today that he’s into a lot of k**ky stuff. Since I’m so young I don’t know if he might try to be exploitative. I sorta have a hard time believing an 18 year old chick can truly be friends with a 25 year old dude. I cut him off today. He texted me saying “what about being friends?” I haven’t replied. I do feel a bit bad for cutting him off.
30 comments
Stop talking to him if you’re uncomfortable, which it sounds like. He is definitely exploiting the situation. Would you think he would still talk to you if you were underage — like 17? Any guy talking to someone as young as 18 is a perv imo. 18 is very young and vulnerable.
Trust you gut. Don’t feel bad for cutting him off. Protect yourself first. It’s good to set boundaries and if he can’t respect that “as friends”, imagine how he’d act if you were dating? Food for thought.
Yes, he definitely is a perv. Well spotted. Block!
no. any 25 year old who is into 18 year olds is creepy. i’m 21 and i wouldn’t date an 18 year old. don’t feel bad he’s sending awful signals and seems to be trying to take advantage of your naivety.
Trust your gut.
Block and move on.
From what you describe, he has already entered the early stages of trying to exploit and manipulate you.
Never feel guilty about trusting your gut.
A 25 year old male being so desperate to be friends with an 18 year old? Sounds sus to me and I would’ve cut him off immediately had I been in your place. Don’t be guilty and move on. Youve a long life ahead of you.
I hope you didn’t give him any of your personal details (eg. Address, etc.) and also change your gym if you can so you can avoid him cause he sounds like a creep to me.
Stay safe and take care.
You will learn wuickly in the dating scene that there are a lot of men who like to treat women like theyre children.
Generally its entitled mysogynists who turn out to be clingy or controlling.
When i was 18 i soent a lot of time trying to please them. When i was last dating in my 30s i would make it clear it wasnt going to work out the second i got uncomfortable and would block them if they couldnt be respectful of that.
You need to get comfortable with the fact that you sre allowed to say no. Youre allowed to not have a reason or to tell them theyre making you uncomfortable. You do not owe them anything and that includes your time or effort.
So. First things first. Block him. Then go make yourself busy. If you tend to see him in real life at s gym or whatever and he asks you whats wrong then judt explain that you dont see it working out and youd rather not be friends etc. Then walk away. Again. You do not owe anyone your time or effort. You do not owe anyone a friendship or a date. Especially men who are pushy, and dont listen to you.
This is really concerning. It seems like he only wants you for sex and is using your relatively young age and lack of experience to take advantage of you. He does not seem like a good person at all and I feel like he’s just being “friends” and hoping for sex eventually.
🚩
Never be friends with someone who wants to take you out they never wanna be just friends
Send him a link to your post and show him what people are saying, because everyone knows this guy is a manipulative, creepy, little perv, and the only reason he’s going after an inexperienced younger person is that women his own age know what a complete loser he is and wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.
Don’t let him manipulate you. Tell him to fuck off.
Follow your intuition.
This was sounds sooo much drama. He is rude and sounds verbally abusive at best.
Just tell him no to being friends. Then tell him that he has been very rude and too pushy. He hasn’t taken anything you’ve said into account and keeps wanting to do whatever he wants. Then block him. Don’t engage anymore.
This guy doesn’t want to date you. He is just looking for a fuck or something, and even that he sounds disgusting.
Run. The moment I turned 21 I wanted nothing to do with any girl who is under the age of 21 because she was not able to go to any of the bars with me. At 25 I could never imagine dating an 18-year-old because that is just way too young in my book. It’s 2 totally different places in life. If I were your dad I would be fully supportive of you ghosting this guy.
Do not go!
He is BAD NEWS.
NEVER feel bad for protecting yourself from bad dudes. Block him so you don’t have to put up with unwanted texts.
This guy s refusing to take no for an answer over a simple date. He’s tried to push you into breaking your on boundaries and has shown that he does not respect you. The o my way to get rid of this guy is to stop talking to him all together.
Yeah this guy is weird. Sucks that you have to switch gyms now. Honestly, I was once an 18 y/o who fancied herself precocious and all that BS, so I can understand the appeal of someone older. But now looking back at the older guys, they all had some social or developmental flaws associated with them, like there was a reason they couldn’t talk to a girl in her 20’s. Arrested development. Like others are saying in this day and age it is not normal for a 25 y/o to be sniffing around someone who just graduated high school.
You feel icky for a reason – the dude sounds like is straight up trying to take advantage of your naivete – aka your youth and lack of experience with aggressive dudes like him. Just say no without any further explanation. You don’t owe him anything. If he keeps bothering you report him to the Gym management.
Block his number and maybe look into switching gyms. Stop going for older dudes, 9 times out of 10, they’re just trying to control you(a younger partner).
It’s likely he is a perv. I met a 30+ year old guy once who would go after any girl he saw who looked remotely like a gym-goer and was not good at understanding “no”.
He made me uncomfortable and I wished I’d listened to my gut in the first instance and not a year later.
Dude is a perv with the wrong intentions it seems. Good job figuring that out.
What did he say was a “traditional date” exactly?
It sounds a lot like manipulation and guilting you from what you wrote here..
I’d advise to steer clear of this man. Especially at 18, with not a lot of dating experience. (Nothing wrong with not a lot of dating experience you were still a child 4 months ago haha)
Good luck!
I’m not sure it’s fair to call this guy a “perv”. There’s not really anything “perverse” about a young guy trying to seduce an attractive, of age female.
It’s an age gap, and he’s being overzealous. He needs to back off and stop pressuring you. Both because it’s making you uncomfortable and because it’s bad “game”.
If you’re not interested in a relationship with this guy you need to leave him blocked. He’s not actually interested in just being friends, he’s just trying to keep you around till he can get you to change your mind.
If you think you might change your mind, unblock him, but he’s going to keep asking you out and trying to get with you.
You do not need to feel bad about your decisions. Do you think he feels bad about HIS decisions? No way. You have freedom to end things because it’s weird, and you don’t have to feel bad about ending things.
You definitely should cut this guy off, he gives a weirdo vibes. However, I feel like it’s not only about his age, he might as well be a 18-19 year old and act the same way. Either way it’s creepy.
You did the right thing. Keep your space
Don’t let this man push you around. You are in control of your life.