How do you overcome fear of dating? How do you convince yourself to join the dating pool?

7 comments

1. What are you afraid of

2. I’m right with you. Every time I want to, I hear a story of why I should continue to be single. I probably need to stop watching For My Man episodes, Married With Secrets and reading Reddit 🤣but very serious.

3. [removed]

4. I found a reply your wrote on another thread. I think what you do is go to counselling for the assault. SA echoes in our lives in various manners. Addressing how these have affected you will help you feel more comfortable when on a date and later on in a relationship.

   If you can afford therapy, look for a therapist who is specialized working with SA survivors and if possible, with those who have PTSD, too. If you are in the US, go to the [RAINN website](https://rainn.org/) where there’s the hotline and online hotline. If you call the hotline, it will usually go through to the nearest SA service provider near you and they can refer you to a therapist or programs to help you. Call and online chats are confidential and anonymous.

   If you can’t afford therapy, read books on healing after SA as well as PTSD. There are also workbooks. Join an online forum or an in-person peer group – those help a lot.

   As for dating, start going out with friends as a group doing various activities. Double date. Get your friends to know the guy and ask them what they think. Go for coffee first. The idea is to start small, then go on from there. Dating means becoming vulnerable, and that’s really not easy for a SA survivor. Or you date, but keep a distance or stay closed off.

5. [removed]

6. Honestly, therapy.

7. Ooh if you have to convince yourself to date, you’re not ready to date. There’s deeper issues you probably need to figure out.

   Coming from experience.