TW: self harm
Me (22m) gf (22f) have been together for 8 months. I always had problems with emotional dependency and jealousy. I’m in the process of getting help because I always thought my jealous moments were harmless and could be resolved between the two of us but recently I got hit in the face with a truth bomb that put things in perspective and showed me that I can’t be like this forever. I got jealous because their ex from 5 years ago started messaging them and after a few days of harmless chatting between the two of them I started a full fledge argument about it which was really stressful and draining for both of us.
I realized I was wrong a couple days later and that I showed her that I didn’t trust her the way you’d expect your committed partner to be. I felt horrible about it and self harmed from the guilt and anxiety and that just put even more pressure and stress on her and I just feel the wedge I’m creating between us and I just want it to end. They’ve been more quiet and reserved around me which is completely fair based off the way I’ve acted but I want to know how I can approach this short term.
I feel like offering them space but at this point I don’t know the difference between what’s wrong and right and I don’t want to dig the hole even deeper. I would really appreciate any advice.
TLDR; I have bad jealousy problems and have put a wedge between me and my gf and I’m not sure how to approach amending it without making it worse.
1 comment
You can offer it, but please please make sure to believe her if she says “no I don’t need it”. If you try to force it upon her you will only further push the narrative of “I don’t trust you” on her.