I am a straight woman and I get so turned on while I am fingering my boyfriend’s asshole. I can see he is having the time of his life but he never asks me to do it.
It always starts from me.
Every time I tell him “if you don’t feel comfortable let me know or tell me to stop” and always he is saying he is alright.
But I can see HE LOVES IT.
I want him to propose it first for one time.
I haven’t done it for 3 months (two years relationship already) and he still doesn’t saying anything
What does that mean?
12 comments
Does he ask for anything else?
He’s just embarrassed probably. Most men are hung up on anal play at first even if they like it. So by not really acknowledging it, he doesn’t have to deal with those feelings. Just bring up to him outside of the bedroom that it really turns you on when you play with his ass and that you want to make sure he’s ok with it and it would really excite you if he initiated it. Does he play with your ass? Do you like it?
It’s probably not his cup of tea but while in the moment his inhibitions go out the window and he’s down for whatever. Sounds like it’s something he can live without & doesn’t need. I doubt he’ll ever ask for it but the fact the he’s doing it for you is a huge sign that he’s doing it all for you. Take it as a win! Btw I’m the same way as your bf there’s things I don’t need sexually but that I’ll do for her because I love her & I want her happy
It’s probably uncomfortable because he worries if HE asks for it, it might seem kind of gay.
It seems like he enjoys you doing things without him asking. If he has not expressed a dislike or anoyance by it, then continue to do it. Maybe broach the subject of rimming or pegging sometime also. He may realy enjoy that you come up with ideas to make sex more enjoyable aswell
Embarrassed. High 90% likelihood.
Have you tried a couple’s kink quiz like sexionniare.com? Have him fill out the things he enjoys. You fill out the things you would be willing to do. See if it matches. If it does show up then have a talk (outside sexy time) about initiating. Just kind of explain you feel weird being the only one.
Maybe come to an agreement that you’ll tease the outside, but he’ll have to ask/beg for you to slide inside.
Do it when riding or sucking him off and he will start asking for it.
People hold a lot of shame about their assholes, and it can take a long time to let go of that. It may help to talk to him about it with that in mind. But he may never be comfortable enough about it to ask for it, and that’s OK. You can see he loves it, so just keep doing it as long as he does.
I wanted my girl to ask me to eat her out, I had to straight up tell her “ask me to eat you out” and coax and tease her till she asked. So you might have a similar “battle” coming your way.
If you don’t do it he might assume you don’t want to and then not ask so that he doesn’t offend you
As others have pointed out, he’s probably a bit embarrassed or ashamed that he likes anal insertion. Society has placed a nasty stigma on men and their asses. That may be why he has difficulty admitting that he enjoys this. Obviously communication is key here. Let him know that it’s ok that he likes the way it feels. Offer to explore other back door options, like using a toy or a dildo. If he likes that, you can suggest strap-on play. Sex should be fun. And it should be intimate. What’s pleasurable for one couple may not be what’s pleasurable for another. That’s ok. And if he gets a huge pleasure out of anal play, it’s ok to occasionally have a sexual session that’s all about him and his pleasures, where you don’t necessarily get off. Especially if there are kinks that maybe you would enjoy that would be all about you and your pleasure. Just my $.02