I’m 17M and of Indian and Chinese descent from Malaysia. To be perfectly honest with you guys, dating sucks balls for me. I’ve had girls reject me and even at times try to avoid me, with one of them even saying they wouldn’t date me because of my race. Admittedly, I wasn’t that attractive. I was a little overweight, wore glasses in high school, and due to our school’s dress code, I wasn’t able to really show off my fashion sense which is pretty unfortunate.
Luckily, I’ve gotten a bit better appearance wise and it gave me a significant boost in confidence.
I’m planning on studying overseas after I’m done with high school and I was wondering how much being a brown male would impact my dating life. I was brought up pretty westernized compared to my peers and I’m an atheist with Catholic parents who aren’t strict, but I’ve seen numerous amounts of particularly Indian dudes who keep complaining about their dating life. At first I never paid attention to any of those posts, mostly because I think being confident and grooming yourself is the way to go but after reading those stories and looking back at all the rejections I’ve gotten, it really has me thinking about how much of a hindrance it may be.
Looks wise nowadays, I’m alright (not sending a pic cuz I think it’s weird), very average in height(5’8-9), am no longer overweight after some exercising and personality wise I lean more towards being an extrovert. I know there’s a difference between a racist AF country like Malaysia (don’t even get me started on this) and the west but after seeing all the horrible instances of Indian men texting women on dating apps with incredibly sexist and disgusting comments, I kinda feel ashamed of even having the same ethnicity of those guys. Sure, I’m Malaysian but I don’t think most foreigners would even care about your nationality. I don’t think saying “Oh don’t worry! I’m Malaysian” really makes that much of a difference. I wanna say that not all indians are like this but it’s getting harder and harder to say stuff like that when those stereotypes are so prevalent and engrained in people’s minds that the first thing they say when they think of Indians is
1. Bob and vegana
2. Shitting on streets
3. IT nerds
What do you guys think?
8 comments
No. Rumor has it south Asian are awesome. P
I’m an Indian and I’ve lived in Germany , Netherlands for almost 5 years and my dating life was beyond awesome tbh. Unfortunately i had to break up with my gf cause i had to go back to India to start a business but i wouldn’t regret any of it. Confidence and self worth is something you should focus on. people commented on my physique , my taste in music and food . In the end it’s about how positive your surrounding is, it’s the people that shape your perspective towards your own race not you. Hang in there man , it’s not bad as it seems you just have to come out as an individual. When it comes to racism I’ve seen lot more worse cases here in India with black students, it’s not like what’s happened in America but their dating life still sucks if you know what i mean. you can’t change people’s preference neither their perspective towards others.
I’m not sure what it’s like in America which I think is where a lot of this conversation comes from. But in the UK south Asian people date intraracially and are almost always paired up. Like every SA person I know has been in a long term relationship since high school/sixth form. maybe dating Interracially is more difficult but all hope is not lost
i’m singaporean of indian descent and idk about anywhere else but the hottest guy in my grade was brown too and everyone swooned over him so imo, dw about it
Your ethnicity will make your dating life suck if you allow it to.
My Dad is Indian and my Mum is white Scottish and they’ve been together forty years do it happens for some people.
Most of my Indian friends date other Indian people but largely that seems to be due to their own choice to date someone from the same culture/religion but some date white people and it doesn’t seem to cause them issues
Statistically south/east Asian males perform the worst in online dating.
What the hell mate? On that last bit!