My (m19) gf (f19) have been seeing each other for about 3 months. I was a virgin before I met her, but she had had sex in her previous relationship. Sex is definitely not the way I thought it would be, but I’m thinking it should be better than what we’re having. I initiate sex every time, she never so much as flirts with me. Half the time I initiate she brushes me off like I am annoying her. When we do have sex, she just lays there and hardly does a thing. The first (and only) time I tried going down on her, she just lay there for a minute before telling me to knock it off because “You don’t know what you’re doing”. She has never shown any interest whatsoever in going down on me. I tried to talk to her about all this recently, and she made it clear that she believes she does enough just by being naked in front of me. I don’t know what to think here. This is my first real relationship so I can’t really gauge what’s normal. This doesn’t seem right, and although I still get horny for her a lot, only having sex on her terms and being told I’m in the wrong for wanting it differently is getting really old. It makes me not want to even try anymore.
14 comments
This isn’t normal. You both should be actively excited by each other, enjoy exploring with each other within your boundaries. She sounds self absorbed, and controlling.
If she’s not willing to discuss it with you, she’s not willing to make any changes to accommodate your needs. A real relationship has give and take. You’ve been giving, time to take…a hike! Find someone who values you and is excited to have a full relationship with you.
Run!
This is not normal. She sounds very immature mentally and emotionally if she’s not willing to discuss it. I would run.
I agree this is not normal! Life’s short, you’re young, move on.
Only been dating 3 months you should be having red hot fiery sex she might not of been I to you after yall did it the first ti.e and didn’t want to tell you. Either way it ain’t gonna end well
Dump her and move on. Life’s too short to be wasting time on women like this. You are worthy of finding someone who you can share an intimate sexual connection with and she sounds like she is not into you at all.
She doesn’t sound mature enough to be doing this.
Not normal. A partner should make you feel desired and it should go both ways.
If they don’t, it doesn’t seem like it’d be worth having a partner. Better to be single than with someone who doesn’t seem to enjoy sex with you.
Leave
The sad fact is, she’s a terrible sex partner. Terrible. Short of being actively abusive, it’s hard to imagine much worse. Dump her.
Think about the term “sex partner”. Partner in sex. Two (or more) people getting together for mutual pleasure, wanting the other’s pleasure as much as their own. That’s what you’re looking for in a sex partner.
Get rid of her
I think she is not that interested in you
What you’re describing sounds like a girl who is either A: not that into you, or B: is into you but has a fear of expressing it. If it’s the latter, give it time and provide her with safety and security and she may open up. If the former is true, date someone else who is actually really into you.
Get out!
Sounds like she’s using her greater level of experience as an excuse to put no effort into actually being any good in bed. You’re young, get out and go find a better partner.