Hi guys, first time posting here. Would you like to tell me (M15) how can improve my relationships with friends(mostly men but there are some females (15M and 15F)and family in general? I realised that my relationships with friends are very shallow apart from few friends. We know each other for 4 years but our relationship is not very deep. In case of family I would like to build a stronger bond. Sometimes my family and friends say that I ask stupid questions and how can I improve in this aspect? Thanks in advance. Peace!
TL;DR: How to improve relationships with people, how to build a stronger bond with family, what to do and what change, when people say that I ask stupid questions.
2 comments
I try doing things that I know the other person is interested in so we have something that we can talk about, and then build the connection from there with new shared experiences. My parents and I have a decently large generational gap. As an example, I started watching episodes of Star Trek with my dad every so often, that grew into us seeing the new movies together, and then going to an exhibit at a museum about the show.
What started because I watched a couple of episodes of an old show on a Saturday morning turned into us visiting a different city together.
People like when they can share their interests with you. Try to listen when you hang out with friends and ASK QUESTIONS!
Oh cool, you saw that basketball game? You like watching basketball? I don’t know anything about that, what’s your favorite team? Why? Have you ever seen a game in person? What was the first time like? Do you like playing basketball too? Do you want to play together sometime?
Bing bang boom now you’re going to play basketball together.
So first off there are few to no stupid questions (unless you are repeating yourself… and that’s not stupid, that’s not listening). I personally would not want to hang out with people who were calling my questions stupid a lot as this is a put-down.
To get to know others and get closer, ask a lot of questions, listen to the answers, and ask particular questions about the answers they give. You can also relate ot to things in your life (ie, sharing this experience) which may make them more likely to share as well. Comploments also help. Here’s an example.
You: “Wow you sounded great today in marching band practice.”
Them: “Thanks, yeah, we practiced a bunch.”
You: “How did you decide you wanted to play Trombone.”
Them: “That’s kinda a funny story… blah blah”
You: ” That’s funny, reminds me of the time my hampster ran into a Tuba… blah blah”
This works for guys and girls! If someone is mean, they probably are not worth hanging out with (so move on to other people).