Hi Reddit. I’m aware this could be above your pay grade but I’m not sure what to do. I’m (F24) worried my younger cousin (F21) could be missing or worse.

For context: my younger cousin and I are pretty close and grew up together. She was adopted and has struggled for a long time with trauma based mental health issues. At 17 she was removed from her family home for safety reasons and lived in group homes and programs until choosing to leave them at 18. She has a history of couch surfing, making false allegations, scamming others by faking pregnancies, illnesses etc. It’s really complicated. Most of our family has cut contact because of her issues but her and I have always talked and met up every few months so I can buy her a meal, give her some self care items and gift cards and overall just check on her. She has never had a job and doesn’t have a lot of skills but won’t take offers of help to change the situation.

The current situation is that she had recently returned from out of state, I last saw her in person end of February. We got dinner and she was staying in a respite home but planned to relocate the next week. She wouldn’t tell me where. I had a baby a few weeks later so I texted to share the news.

In April she texted me she loved me out of the blue and I said I loved her too. A few weeks later she called me and I missed it, she left no message. I tried to return the call but she didn’t answer. A few days later I got a message from a different facebook account, this account said she was engaged to a man I’d never heard of before. I asked her and she denied this account was hers at all. That last contact was April 29th and I have yet to hear from her since (it is middle of June).

I’ve reached out multiple times with no response, she hasn’t even read the messages. Her primary Facebook says she is still active but she hasn’t posted since April. Her most recent phone number was disconnected (active in March).

I did some sleuthing and found out she had stayed with an old friend from high school for a while in April. This is the sister of the same random fiancé from the alternate Facebook. This woman claims my cousin was kicked out in the first week of May for faking a pregnancy and cancer and a few other lies.

At what point of no contact from my cousin do I become concerned? She has no phone number, no permanent address, not even a drivers license. Would I have grounds to file a missing persons report? I’ve spoken to my family and they’ve truly just written it off as another attention seeking episode or said “what can we do”.

I’m just worried for her. Thanks.

TLDR: Haven’t heard from cousin in over a month, she has no phone number or permanent address. What is my next step?

4 comments
  1. Ummm….. file a report…. get it out there asap. Missing person report

  2. I would file a missing persons report immediately. It sounds like she’s had a tough life, I hope she’s okay

  3. I would file a missing persons report immediately. It sounds like she’s had a tough life, I hope she’s okay

  4. I’d definitely file a report, it’s all around pretty concerning. She may have declined mentally and could be living rough, she could have gotten herself into trouble. There’s nothing to lose, and everything to be gained, by making the report. If you’re in a financial position, a PI may also be of assistance.

    And thank you for being such a thoroughly decent person, she doesn’t sound easy to love and here you are, just doin’ it anyway. You’re a good egg.

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