My (24f) partner (26m) has shown little to no interest in sex with me for almost the last year of our relationship.
In total, we’ve been together for 2.5yrs, we’ve lived together almost 2, we have a pet. For the first 1.5yrs, it was near daily sex – sometimes multiple times a day, different locations, different toys, kinks etc. We both had high sex drives, and I still do.
I’ve talked to him about it multiple times now, but I am truly depressed at this stage. It feels like he just isn’t attracted to me, he doesn’t use touch or language to insinuate anything sexual. If complimenting me it is always terms that aren’t remotely alluding to any sexual attraction. I feel frustrated, miserable, and undesirable – it’s a terrible feeling. Most of all, I feel so disconnected from him, it just feels like we’re roommates with extra steps.
I’m at the end of my tether and I’ve had another talk with him today about how I feel and what the issue could be. He claims that he does want to have sex and does find me attractive but that he isn’t comfortable having sex. That he just doesn’t have any sex drive, and that this has happened in previous relationships. They’ve all ended under the two year mark.
When I pointed out that seems like he eventually just loses interest and moves onto someone new he vehemently denied this. But I don’t know what to do or think any more.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I’m at such a loss
5 comments
He can’t just say he wants to then not put forth the effort to make it work. Food for thought…..
seems like he has problems he needs to fix
Listen to [Esther Calling – Single at 40](https://podcasts.apple.com/pt/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798?i=1000566621726) podcast episode and you may find something useful for your relationship.
Good luck 🍀
I know how you feel I think. The most recent EX flat out told me, “You don’t get me off anymore”. Oh really?…it seemed to work just fine a few weeks ago. Ok, good…you can go freeload with the new guy….yeah…I knew.
We were the same way once. Sex all the time, pretty much anything went, but then over time that stopped. The new guy was already lined up. I think your guy is just blowing smoke with the “I’m not comfortable having sex”. I’m not saying that he has something else going on, but it’s a possibility. I say that because what you said is very similar to what I had.
Over the last 50 years, men’s testosterone has been plummeting globally. Ask him to get his blood work done and to see what his testosterone levels are. It sounds like he might need to get on trt.