women of reddit , do you ever feel about bad/sad about being single ?

38 comments

1. Felt like shit for years about it, yeah. I’ve never had a relationship and I’m 26 and it’s hard not feeling extremely bitter seeing others my age in relationships/married.

   Women are humans and we’re capable of feeling things like loneliness. It physically hurts sometimes and definitely contributes to my depression.

2. I try not to dwell on it, because that’s not healthy.

   But it’s certainly not a positive thing for me. I miss the companionship, I miss having my person, and I miss sex.

3. Yes. 36f with a career and everything going for me. I just want a real connection with a great guy.

4. I’m a kind, polite and like to think well raised woman. I got myself a full time job and I lost weight. I save my money and have no debt aside from student loan. I come from a tight knit family with good values and that’s accepting of everyone.

   I don’t feel bad about being single but I’m also not sure why I can’t seem to keep a relationship. I can get dates no problem but yeah.

5. When I was younger, sure. Now I don’t see being in a relationship as some accomplishment, especially given how often people settle and are miserable for the sake of not being alone. I get to do whatever I want. occasional loneliness doesn’t outweigh the overall positives.

6. I’m in my mid thirties and a lone parent. I love being single, it is so much easier than being with someone and constantly worrying about their needs . I do as I please , and it’s fantastic.

7. Absolutely at times! I’m in a happy relationship now but I was single for about 4 years and throughout that period of my life there was several times I felt bad about being single. Especially during times where I was comparing myself to others or feeling particularly lonely. I think it’s normal to go through phases where it’s something that bugs you at times especially when you’re young or when you’re perhaps struggling with your mental wellbeing.

8. yes at times but at times no at least i am happy not having to go through a another breakup

9. I never felt sad about it because I knew at any time I could get a boyfriend, I was just waiting for the right one to find me.

10. Yes. All the time. I just don’t broadcast it to the world. I deleted my Instagram recently to help my mental health around it. That really makes me feel worse! But sometimes I avoid family events because I’m one of the only ones not married or in a serious relationship. For a woman, no matter how far our sex has come the two defining moments in a woman’s life to society are when she gets married or has a baby. So that adds to it because I’ve done a ton of other amazing stuff.

11. i’m 20 and have never dated or had a relationship. sometimes i feel bad about it (that i’m ugly, missing out, unloveable etc). however, i’ve met so many terrible guys lately that i’ve lost faith in humanity. i don’t want anything to do with men or dating, fuck that lmao.

12. Yes. Been single for 2 years now and it sucks. I do talk about it occasionally, but not much. Usually only ever talk about it with my other lonely single friends, and my roommate (who used to also be one of said lonely single friends until she started dating her boyfriend about a year ago). Even then, I don’t usually bring it up unless someone else asks or says they feel the same.

13. I’m 25 and had 2 serious relationships lasting a few years and I’ve been single for over a year now. It feels weird watching everyone I know get married and have kids and all I do is go to work and go home.. too scared to online date honestly. Hoping to meet someone organically but who knows. Sounds so exhausting to put myself out there right now while building my career :/

14. 48f single… And nope … Kinda enjoying it… It’s been 18 months now and as time goes on .. I’m looking it even more!

15. Not really. I got out a long term relationship a little over a year ago. Honestly feels like a breath of fresh air. I dont need to worry or think about someone other then myself. It was my first and only relationship. It feels like one of those “one and done” type of things. I dont mind if someone comes along but as of now I don’t have the emotional capacity to invest in anything. The last relationship drained me emotionally and mentally so now whatever energy I gather is on me. Happily single and haven’t dated since the breakup

16. No it’s when I’m happiest

17. As with all things, the response will depend on the person. You act like all women are happy being single while all men hate it, but I know plenty of people who prove the opposite.

    Personally, I’m happy single, but I would prefer to find someone. I enjoy my life, it’s simple, fun, and easy. But I miss companionship, having a physical relationship, and love.

18. I was happy when I was single and even happier when I met my current bf.

19. All the time. 28F. I’m told I’m attractive. I have a full time job/career, a home, a loving family and group of friends. I’m independent and take care of myself. I go on adventures and travel. I do everything I want- even if alone like going to movies or out to eat. No debts. I love dogs. Every guy I match with just wants sex OR is someone I am physically not attracted to off the bat. My confidence is low. I get really sad knowing I’ll
    Never have a family.

20. I’ve been single almost 10 years and I feel lonely. I’m to the point where I’ve pretty much come to terms that this is my life now. Always the friend, never the girlfriend. It is lonely to come home at the end of the day and not have a person to talk to and be there.

21. I (32F) love being single! My last relationship, together ~5 years, was not a good fit for me at all and I am still pulling myself back together, single for ~3 years now. I am attractive, very fit, have an amazing career, great friends, hobbies, I get lots of attention from men and get asked out on dates often. I am just not emotionally ready to start something serious [I make it known from the start], but something casual that would develop into something more, I am also open to.

22. Bad? Not exactly, being in a relationship isn’t a measure of worth or anything. Sometimes I feel sad or lonely and I wish I had a partner to go through life with but my last couple of relationships were ridiculously bad and I took a break and that break extended 7+ years and is still ongoing.

    Now I’m not too bothered with the whole thing, if I meet someone fine, if I don’t, ah well I have technically attained all of the average relationship milestones so it’s not like I missed out or don’t know what I’m missing.

23. Yes sometimes we feel bad about being single specially when you come from a traumatic, abusive relationship while other guys treating their gf’s very good and nicely.

24. Yes. I’m lonely. I’m a 39F been single for 4 years. I hate when my friends tell me to be positive or try to develop myself. I’m financially independent, have a good job, and have my own place. I take care of my own life by myself. It’s not abnormal to want intimacy or companionship, especially the older we get.

25. Not anymore. It used to make me sad and make me feel undesirable but… As I got older, I found that that my life was quite fulfilling on my own. Though, there were times, when I am dealing with difficult situations and wish there was someone to comfort me, that I think it would be nice to have someone, 99% of the time I’m pretty happy single.

26. Most women don’t feel bad about being single in the short term but when they get older and don’t have the family that they want that’s when the sadness settles in

27. Most of the time no. Nearly every relationship I’ve had, I’ve had to basically be their mother, therapist, and/or atm. I’m 23, I have a long ways to go in life so I’m focused on establishing a good career myself and making myself happy.

28. Of course. Why do you think we are on reddit subreddits about dating? 😁🙄It is not to boast about our singledom😎😁

29. Late 20s F here.

    I’ve been single (largely by choice) for about 5 years now. I aim to better myself everyday, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come!

    I also struggle to find people I’m compatible with – I have a few deal breakers that unfortunately make it harder for me to date (non smokers, child free etc)

    I don’t feel bad about being single, as I think being single is a really awesome thing.

    I don’t feel sad about it, on the rare occasions I do miss having a partner but I get all my needs met through friends (I lean heavily asexual so I don’t really have many sexual needs, but if I did I could easily get those met).

    I’m a super affectionate person so I hug and cuddle with my friends regularly! (with consent of course)

    I find that cuddling friends gets rid of any desire I have for a relationship. I don’t want to settle, so I’m happy doing my own thing until I find the right person for me 😁

30. Uhh hmm….. I was in an abusive marriage and being totally alone and on my own now in all ways is immensely better. Finding a healthy partnership sounds so freaking nice but I am basically traumatized and don’t think I’ll date again. Been 5 years since the divorce too, you’d think I’d be back to “normal ” but thats not always how trauma works. So I see all these toxic relationships of friends and family and am thankful. So grateful for surviving, for figuring out how to buy myself a house, fix everything myself, lift heavy shit, operate equipment, hang with my pets and sing in my garden … I find it hard believing someone out there will only add benefit to my life. I’m not down to lose again so…. I guess the answer to your question is ofcourse more complicated than “sad”… It’s a lot.

31. I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 17. And it did suck, a lot. Where I’m from most girls were in committed relationships by 14 and I just desperately wanted someone to talk to. It didn’t help I was bullied at school and so having the support would’ve made the whole difference. It’s the whole reason I’m a commitment girl and every relationship I’ve had has lasted years. It wasn’t until I changed my appearance (learned makeup, hair) I started to get more attention (which I think it has more to do with the fact I felt more confident rather than guys suddenly realising I’m beautiful or something). I think, despite how stubborn and independent I am, it’s nice to have someone in my corner,, you know? Somebody I can just, talk to about anything (that isn’t my therapist bahahah)

32. Yes and idk if it’s because I still haven’t been in a serious relationship at 19 but around this time I really feel it

33. I feel bad about it but I’d feel worse dating. Lonely is fixed with a vibrator and a pet to cuddle. Literally everything wrong in a relationship requires both people working on it, and the odds are not great that I’ll find an actual adult instead of a manbaby. It’s not ideal but I’ll take lonely over manbaby any day. If I wanted to be a mother I’d have actual children.

34. 37f here to say that there are times I feel sad about being single… it can definitely be lonesome (especially when all your friends and your sibling are all coupled up). But overall when I think about it I am much happier being single than I ever have been in a relationship. I live life on my terms. Men demand too much attention and time and don’t reciprocate in my experience, so why would I want that when I can be free and happy and not tied down by someone else’s stuff?

    Don’t feel bad about feeling bad. It is okay to not want to be single no matter where you fall on the gender spectrum. I always say build a life you love and you will attract the best person to complement that. Don’t settle because you feel bad. Keep reaching for the best!

    Good luck!

35. Sometimes. But then i’ll remember that some men (if i get unlucky and be with a trash) won’t treat you the same way you treat them. And i kept getting reminded that some only want to be taken care of and would leave you instantly when you get sick. I don’t want to be tied up in a relationship where it would be an 80:20 instead of a 50:50 effort. Sorry if what i said seems confusing because English isn’t my first language.

36. no

37. Not really, I mean don’t get me wrong icve always dreamt about having a relationship with a loving boyfriend- but just think about how stressful it would be if your lover decided that you aren’t good enough for them, doesn’t have time for you and so on.. I’m actually happy to be single cuz I get to focus and keep myself healthy without having to overthink if your partner is doing stuff behind your back or not.

38. I’ve been single since birth. I’m now 28. Ofc, sometimes it gets a little lonely. There are times when I want to be in a relationship. Just to know how it feels like to have someone whom I can be with, share my thoughts with and all that couple-y stuff. And yes, I share these thoughts with my friends. And now, here too 🙂