I am in a relationship for the first time.
My girlfriend works till 6. Has volleyball on 3 out of 5 working days. The rest of the 2 working days she is usually tired and needs to go to sleep on time. I can see that she tries but she is pushing herself so I don’t want to do that.
This leaves us with the friday and weekend. She got other stuff to do. Chores like laundry, grocery shopping yada yada. She also needs to see other friends sometimes.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t mind seeing her everyday even it is for an hour but she seems to not be able to find time for me.
My question for people in relationship is how often do you guys meet or hangout in a week? What does your week look like when the two of you have a busy life on the side
I really want to talk to her and tell her you are not giving me enough time, but I am afraid it might take our relationship downhill.
TL;DR: girlfriend doesn’t have enough time to spend with me, I am trying to determine what is a healthy amount of time we should be spending
3 comments
if something is important to a person they make it happen.
if it isnt important they make excuses.
My partner and I are pretty independent and our work schedules are opposite, so we generally only spend one night (maybe an hour before we fall asleep) and one day together during the week.
That being said.
As much as our schedules allow, we go out for a quick coffee break, or one of us will make lunch for the other and we’ll spend a half hour together. And we communicate if one of us feels like they aren’t getting enough time, or maybe one of us needs a few hermit days.
You need to have a conversation about your needs and expectations.
With my ex, we hung out about once ever other week, mostly for sex. I never felt anything much for him, nor him for me, but I was horny and he was occasionally available and that was exciting. He was my first relationship so i had no expectations. It’s only in retrospect that I realize that the whole relationship was a great big meh.
With the guy I married, after the first couple of dates, we hung out almost every day and did pretty much everything together. Including laundry and chores. We were all but joined at the hip.
When you find someone you click with, the difference will be obvious.