I’m such an pleb.

I can’t even use my own self as an advantage despite other people literally saying to me that I’m handsome( a coworker randomly told me that I’m shift?)

Or that I probably“bag all the bitches” at the store I work.

Even good looking girls think I probably “get hella bitches”

And despite all of these constant boosters from my environment full of lovely and beautiful people…

I fail to even advance an inch in my sex life. Wtf is happening?!

In summary I’m just hoping this post helps people find a way to find inner self worth and hope it helps some one here as well.

45 comments

  1. Well have you actually tried asking anyone out or making a first move ever in your life?

  2. No matter the personality or attractiveness, there’s still an amount of effort on both parts that need to go into dating. Maybe these people are trying to flirt with you?

  3. If you are that good looking you d get approached by some girls. Haas that ever happened to you?

    People say I m good looking too but they just being nice and I return the favor and tell them they are good looking too

  4. Just go to a party drink a little bit (just enough to get more relaxed) and then hit on a random girl of your interest.. Worst case scenario you’ll just get rejected (which is actually unlikely since you’re good looking and even not good looking guys can easily get at least a kiss that way..)

  5. I’m like that too. Coasting on peoples assumptions can be surprisingly easy. Therapy has helped me discover I’m really good at pretending to be care free and maintaining a certain image, but I rarely allow people to see past it.

    The things I’ve been working on to combat this are not feeling the need to conform to others assumptions or what I think they may imagine me to be. For example, as a strong introvert, sometimes I have bouts of extraversion, and I no longer try to suppress them just because someone may be disappointed I’m not always extroverted.

    I don’t know if you have a similar experience as I do, but on the chance you do, I also hope you know you’re not alone.

  7. I think ure problem is shooting ure shot , u fail to realize u aren’t a girl . Girls never make the first move they always get asked out and offered sex . Guys actually have to work to get pussy even for the most attractive guys .

  8. Just don’t be a pussy. Expect failure but keep trying and take action. End of story.

    I got the same reaction until i got into therapy and my therapist helped me with my issues on avoiding rejection and not taking initiative. 25M virgin.

    I now go on 1 date a week.

  9. I was in a similar situation to you. I had no idea people actually thought I was attractive.

    However even though I now know this Ive found that like you I reckon we are actually just the kind of people who want a specific partner that understands us.

    Your a sensitive person I assume, like myself and that is not a weakness but a strength in disguise. You just have to find the person or persons that are right for you. If you make mistakes that is a part of who you are and NEVER let anyone truly tell you otherwise.

    Goodluck!

  10. This may sound cliche but just be yourself! The right girl will come along and see that. You’ll know if she’s interested by her body language and tone around you. UNLESS it’s hard for you to pick up on when a girl does have interest in you. Word of advice, lots of women love to have conversation, if you have Snapchat or Instagram, snap/DM a few girls to make conversation and see if things flow from there. Your looks are a plus! So take advantage of it !!

  11. 2 and a half years of using Reddit; recently turned 20 and the only r/ that i relate to. Help!!

  12. If you’re good looking just get on an dating app. Have friends take some good photos of you or take some yourself in natural daylight, talk to girls online in a nice way and then go on dates.

  13. Turn flirting into a game. Flirt with girls almost like a joke, laugh when you do it, say outrageous lines, make it a game.

    It portrays confidence (to some, some might see it differently) and makes it easy to handle rejection if it comes, but also makes it easier to go out there and talk to girls, and you will definitely find girls who are interested in you

  14. IDK.. performance anxiety, lil dicky didn’t come out to play?

    Get out of your own head and just find ways to be happy.

  15. BRO U LEGIT ME HAHAHAH. I GET THAT ALL THE TIME. “HAVE U GOT A GF” “I BET UR TEXTING UR GIRLS” LEGIT IM JUST CHECKIN MY BASE ON RUST LOL …. I can’t really give advice on it but just do you man. What will happen will come. Destiny is weird but however far it may be it will hit without miss 😘

  16. When I was 24 I was told by a girl she was afraid to date me because I was a fuckboy. The truth is I only had one girl before her, we ended up dating but it didn’t last long.

    I’m still taken aback about it, I don’t know why some people think that some attitudes correspond to a fuckboy or someone who really gets a lot of girls.

    I think we both need to be more confident about it, I’ve also been approached by girls but I have a hard time believing they really wanted something with me, and turns out they really did.

    I read on another comment that you’ve only asked a girl out once, I’ve only done it 4 times, once rejected, 3 accepted and lead to a date. We should push ourselves more out there IMO.

  18. This is my life to a T. I’m not extremely gl but i’d say above average enough. And i’m a total loser with no relationship past whatsoever. And people assume the opposite.

  20. i’m not super good looking but what changed it for me was to just ask girls stuff. like – so you wanna make out? or – wanna have sex? lol. you’d be surprised how many just say – ok. now this is a numbers game and you say this in a joking manner and if and when they say no – you don’t get mad or upset or show any emotion in anyway. just say something like – i was joking anyway or pft, you couldn’t handle it anyway lol. keep it light and joking and do not get sad or be weak. and move on to the next one.

  22. If this is the case, why don’t you use tinder? It’s the easiest way to get a date. Once you’re there you are both there for the same reason. I’m handsome, but not to the extent you describe and was able to go on 3-4 dates when I used to be single.

  23. i feel the same way. it’s like im constantly experiencing imposter syndrome. I have regular comments about my appearance and have objectively a nice body but i have never held hands or kissed anyone. I just feel so awkward sexually and don’t even pursue people.

  24. Most of your problems would be solved by being direct on Tinder. I mean asking a girl to come over, or to go out within the first 2 to 4 messages. I’ve had girls just be frank with me by saying, “I’m just looking to hookup.” It’s not that difficult, but you need to work on this. You’ll see for yourself. Hopefully you have your own place.

  25. I call it the hot potato fallacy. Everyone tells you that you’re such a good guy but nobody is going to *actually keep* you in their hands, you know:

    ​

    “Hey, you’re a great catch! You’ll find someone great for you! *I’m just not that person…”*

    *Nor am I…*

    *Nor am I…*

    Being eternally passed on to other people as the hot potato that everyone likes to see but nobody wants to get involved with.

    And yes, I think it’s bullshit and ridiculous.

  26. My external ‘cool factor’ never matched my internal nerdy, shy and anxious side. Doesn’t matter what anyone said, on the inside, I knew otherwise. Like, I’m quiet and I never repeat the nonsense in my head unless I know a person well, but it sure feels like they can see and hear everything going on. Looking back, plenty of people seemed to gravitate toward me, but my confidence was always lacking, and that severely altered my perception.

  27. Michael Caine talking about Cary Grant: https://youtu.be/PDBY0A4JnTs

    1. Find the best qualities of your voice. A resonant masculine voice does not have to be deep, but oh when a man knows his voice and how to speak well….*sigh*

  28. Yeah, if you’re shy you need to work on that.

    Unless the girl is out going and is doing the pursuing, you’re probably going to get nowhere.

  30. Just because you have the potential to be a “pussy slayer” doesn’t mean you have to be one.

    No pressure is needed. Just be the guy who can hold a convo with girls, and not just the ones you like. If you want to be that guy, then go be lvl 99 Vagician, but take the pressure off and enjoy yourself.

    Whether or not you do it’s no big deal. Only your expectations matter.

  31. You’ve been given a deck of good cards, but you don’t seem to play the game. You can’t expect people to just ask you to play (especially as a man, nomatter how handsome).

    If you find someone attractive you can literally say “Hi I’m [name], you look interesting to me.”

    This introduction works for average me, it will definitely work for handsome you.

  32. One thing I’ve done is using my attractiveness to an advantage while clubbing. When you and everybody around you is drunk, an attractive man can kiss girls left and right. This might also help with taking to girls during the day i guess

  33. What do you do to get girls on a date? You have to do something. It might happen randomly if stars align, but you better off doing something.

  35. Just hit em with “What makes you say that? 😏” And see how they respond, chief.

  37. My advice is cheesy and doesnt make senss, but works. Believing that you can do something is important and can help you reach your goals.

  38. Luckily being a certain level of attractiveness you can just be honest. You will have to face the fear of rejection at some point though, and learn to take it gracefully.

    “To be honest I haven’t had much experience dating, you know anyone available?”

    Also a simple, “I’m really nervous,” usually gets the person I’m talking to to try to ease the tension.

  40. Lol, same here. Recently got a part time job and got asked “you got a gf/who’s the lucky girl dating you?”

    My reaction was “What? You’re talking about me?Nobody.”

    Their reaction was “Huh? That’s surprising, thought someone would have taken you.”

    I was gonna ask them if they needed glasses cause they clearly aren’t looking at the right person, but it sounded pretty bad, so I didn’t.

    It’s crazy and sad how having low self esteem can effect your personal image. I’d never think I was attractive.

  41. Your self worth doesn’t come from others. It comes from within. Although it usually takes time and a level of maturity to not care what others think. I don’t know how old you are. Are you afraid to ask a girl out? The worst she can do is say no. Good lock and trust me when I say this. Looks aren’t everything. That helps but there is so much more to being attractive.

  42. Maybe it’s because, based on the comments of the people around you, you’re stuck in a 90s rap music video.

  44. Honest question here (I’m in the same s
    situation as you), do you actually *want* a relationship? If so, why? Is it because you’re actually interested in someone
    or do you just like the idea of a relationship.

    Attraction is a two way street you can only go down if both show interest. If you don’t actually want a relationship you won’t be interested in a deeper connection with other people and nothing will come of it. You don’t get with people by just living your life waiting for it to happen, you need to actually find people to connect with, and a large part of that is actually just dumb luck.

    Realising that I’m not interested in a relationship at this stage of my life helped me realise and accept that I wasn’t romantically interested in other people.

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