The last thing I want to do is make my boyfriend that I love uncomfortable. We’re long-distance during summer break, and my high school friend who has always liked me wants to hang out. He knows that I’m in a relationship, and I know he would respect my boundaries, but I am not planning on saying yes since my boyfriend would be uncomfortable if I went out with him. I care about my relationship more than the friend, but does anyone have advice on how to.. turn down a friend for a relationship? I still care about this friend, but I have no need to see him alone. I also don’t want to be wishy-washy with him, since my ex didn’t care who I saw and I was able to see this friend while in relationships previously.
TL;DR: How to kindly tell a friend who likes me romantically I no longer feel comfortable seeing him alone due to relationship.
8 comments
If this is truly just a friend, who you have been open with that you are not into (he knows you have a bf, but does he know you do not like him back?), then your bf should be a bit less controlling. He should trust you enough to hang out solo with a friend, no matter the gender.
You can suggest hanging out as a group, but there’s no way to be honest with him and guarantee that you won’t hurt his feelings.
Oh honey. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t want you to see your friends alone, that is a HUGE red flag. It’s insecure at best and not a little bit manipulative.
You can date someone and still hangout with people of the opposite sex 1-on-1.
I understand your bf being uncomfortable at first, but he’s gotta come around to except that. This isn’t okay in the long term.
UNLESS, you both have the same viewpoints then do whatever both parties want to do.
Why are you “friends” with somebody that currently has a crush on you that’s not friendship that’s him just waiting you out
my boyfriend would be uncomfortable if I went out with him.
That’s too bad. Your boyfriend gets to decide who he’s friends with. You get to decide who you’re friends with. And you should not allow your boyfriend to dictate who your friends are. Your boyfriend’s request is a huge red flag. You should not agree to it, and you should be very, very cautious about this relationship.
Controlling behavior is a red flag. Do you wanna see your buddy alone? Then do it. As long as you’ve made it clear you’re taken and not interested that’s what matters. Your bf has a responsibility to control his jealousy.
I’m literally sitting at the pool at my apartment complex waiting on my MALE(!!!) friend to come out with me right this very second. There is absolutely no reason at all to stop seeing friends one on one regardless of gender or relationship status. If your boyfriend feels uncomfortable that’s his shit to sort out, not yours.