How to get out of my head during sex?

Hi, I have made a post on here before about having a sexual disconnect with my boyfriend and after more communication with him, I think a lot of it has to do with me not being fully comfortable/present during sex.

I fear it has a lot to do with going into a sexual experience expecting not to be satisfied, because that has been the case many times. But I don’t know how to break that cycle! I also sometimes feel so ugly around him, so it’s very hard to feel sexy during a love making session. I have never had this problem before. Men have always been very open about touching me, complimenting me, etc. So I have never really had a problem with being distracted or feeling ugly during sex.
I have mentioned to my boyfriend that I would like to be complimented more outside of the bedroom, or have him touch me more so I can feel more that he finds me desirable. He has been doing that more, however to me it still seems forced just because I had to ask him to do it and it never feels genuine.
I am almost never able to relax and sex has become a lot like a chore just because of the mental gymnastics I’m putting myself through of not thinking my partner finds me attractive.

How can I stop overthinking and set myself up for success in the bedroom?? I want nothing more than to be intimate with my boyfriend. How can I get out of my head?