I (26M) and my fiancée (27F) have been together for about 4 years now and we’ve talked about sex numerous times throughout the duration of our relationship. At one point she said that I was too horny and wanted to have too much sex. She stated that my erect penis was annoying her while she was trying to sleep. So I did my best to tone it down.
Months later, she states that we need to have more sex and said she’s never really initiated sex in the past. So I make an attempt for us to have more sex, but she always says she’s too tired or I wait too late to have sex. She always wants me to cuddle her and caress her body which drives me insane and makes me want to have sex.
I love her and I am trying my best to compromise with her requests, but it’s getting old only have sex once a week if I’m lucky. We both work 40 hours 5 days a week. It seems like she always has energy except when it’s time to have sex. Im just really confused and don’t know what to do. I want to talk about it with her, but we’ve already talked about it numerous times.
How often do you and your S/O have sex a week. How many times a week did you have sex when you were out ages?
7 comments
Maybe she is too nervous to initiate so finds you erect quite intimidating? it is also okay to go solo if you want to.
Exactly why I’m staying clear of relationships
My ex did the same thing, at first I was too horny and always tryna fuck, then I don’t “initiate enough” even though I was always getting turned down. A prefect example of the fickle nature of women.
My next relationship sex has to be at least 3-4 times a week unless your sick or something, it’s so important and integral to a healthy relationship, you can do a short scroll on this subreddit and you’ll find endless stories of relationship problems rooted in sex.
God bless you and I hope you make it through this.
My S/O and i have sex somewhere near 3-5 times a week. With that being said we both have higher sex drives and i do not expect many people to have sex that often.
I would almost copy and paste what you wrote into a text to her. This is a very well worded way of saying what you need. There are mixed signals coming your way, and you need clearity. Talking about your sex life with your S/O should be a continual conversation and to me there is no shame is asking questions to be on the same page with your S/O.
My wife and I have had sex 22 times this year — a bit less than once a week.
How many times a week when I was your age? When I was 26? Zero. I didn’t lose it until I was 27. For my wife, no idea; I didn’t meet her until *she* was 27.
I (37M) and my wife (41F) have sex maybe 2-4 times a week, but we also have an agreement that we will do everything we can to make it work when one of us wants sex. For example, even if she’s not “in the mood” when I am, she will still come to bed and make out with me so she can get in the mood. (I also go down on her every time to get her very warmed up, so she knows she’ll be taken care of when we make love)
It feels like you guys haven’t gone deep enough into the conversation, and there are things lurking that need to be uncovered. Like, maybe you could both talk about how you viewed sex growing up, or what you want sex in a relationship to be, or has she had any trauma in the past that could be affecting this?
And maybe also ask why she needs to be in a perfect state of mind and body to please her lover? She can sexually gratify you when she’s tired, right? Also, when does she want sex? Planning times for love-making is something that works for a lot of couples, and you need a really good reason to back out of it.
Just my thoughts, I hope it helps, and good on you for seeking advice in this complicated situation!
Don’t think I can help much, last week my bf and I had sex a total of 30 times lol but we also have a deal to try doing it twice a day. We’ve lived together for a bit over 4 months.
In my last relationship we had sex max once a week and it was killing me. My bf was so disinterested and plain lazy if I’m honest. The only interaction we had was the very rare sex despite living together.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, that the amount of sex couples have differs wildly from couple to couple – however I think 3 times a week is pretty normal.
Edit to add: if she feels it’s too late (my ex was like that, anything past 7pm was “too late”…) could you try having sex earlier in the day? Perhaps in the morning before work or once you’re both home from work, like cuddle and make out and let it lead to sex before dinner time?
Have her see you talking to other women that are younger and hotter than her.
Dude, she is annoyed by your boner?