Me (22m) and my gf (23f) have been together for five years. For the last two years our sex life has died down alot for many reasons. Some messy sex sessions and emotional issues. I had a high sex drive but have brought it down quite a lot but still need to jerk to porn alot of the time, I think about having sex with alot of other girls and wish I could have an open relationship.
My girlfriend is depressed about our sex situation but doesn’t really care about sex beyond the validation it gives her about her physical attractiveness to me and is okay with letting it go if she’s 100% sure I have no interest in it and it’s not a case of that I’m just doing without for the sake of being with her. I don’t really have much of an identity or importance on my own satisfaction. I kinda just wanna delete my sex drive and be with her. I dunno I guess I’m just venting
1 comment
Sexual dynamics are an important part of many peoples relationships. Prioritizing your sex life on equal footing with your emotional fulfillment is valid, but it’s a bit of a taboo. No one who wants a satisfying sex life should have to put up with years, decades, of unfulfilling sex with a partner who won’t change/compromise/try.
Open relationships are typically not well understood until one has had that experience, and even then some people don’t do the work. Structure, boundaries, establishing trust, being willing to go slow, being able to talk about jealousy honestly and calmly, being emotionally stable and mature, being able to handle NRE without losing focus of your extant partner, being able to handle social discrimination, and being a stellar communicator are important to succeed in ethical non-monogamy. Most people can’t do this, and you get the endless horror stories. If you’re interested in this, do your research.