Basically I’ve never been on a date or done anything with a girl because of ADHD, anxiety, and overall fear of rejection. I’m considered attractive and I’m pretty fit, so people never believe me when I tell them that I’ve never been on a single date.
I want to start to get into dating, but I have no idea where to start. I still have pretty bad anxiety when it comes to asking a girl out because I fear that I will humiliate myself due to my lack of experience. How do I bring up the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship or date to a potential partner that has probably been on multiple dates and in multiple relationships? How do I tell them I have no idea what the fuck is going on? I could just not bring up this fact, but I’m pretty sure there’s no way to hide it will show on its own during a date or when I try to kiss them for the first time and embarrass myself. This is just causing a positive feedback loop of self doubt and I have no idea how to get out of it.
I’ve tried downloading some dating apps, I get a lot of matches and messages, but I always end up chickening out when the conversation steers to meeting up. I don’t know what to do other than the obvious “just go on a date”.
tl;dr I’m too scared to try to get into a relationship because I lack experience and I have no idea how to convince my brain it’s ok.
2 comments
Honestly the only thing to do is let yourself be uncomfortable and go for it. A lack of experience will not deter most folks. I know saying “be yourself” is cliche, but it’s the best advice. You have to just lean in to bring so uncomfortable and accept that if a date goes bad, it’s not you— that’s just normal.
I tend to try to just say fuck it, do something last minute and go before you let yourself talk yourself outta it.
Jump to the cold water!
The majority of people are anxious about romantic matters in their first, second and more times. You just need to get used to it. So a date will go bad. So what! As long as you’re good natured you’re not the problem or at least can grow by learning.
You don’t have to fully open yourself up if your date doesn’t ask and even when they do, you can reply you rather focus on them and the now or something. You can alsp rip that bandade, just maintain your spirit. It’s to ashamed of. There are late bloomers for every age and 22 is still young.