Sorry kinda long I ranted a bit.
So some background info: I have been thinking about breaking for some time now. Things just aren’t what I want in an ideal relationship. It’s really hard as she is a really sweet girl and the thought of breaking up is really hard to actually imagine doing. It will be really heartbreaking.
Why I think I want to break up: It’s just not perfect. We’re young 24 & 23. But we’ve been dating over 2 years. There are things that I just can’t get over like she is really shy and literally doesn’t speak to my family. I am shy too but I put in a lot of effort when I’m with hers to be chatty and friendly. She has known them long enough that she should be friendly enough to have a conversation as they are very nice to her. I understand social anxiety but I think to be honest this is more a case of not trying hard enough (same when with my friends). I sometimes long for a partner and don’t think I am really getting that. In small decisions for example about where to eat or what to do I feel I always have to be in the driver seat. Anyway that’s the background info. I don’t want to talk shit about her, she is a really nice person, I just can’t envision a future together.
Right now we’re fighting as she got angry at me as I am going to be away for the next couple weekends in a row and she wanted to hang out with me. I’d still be in town on the weekdays and we usually hang at least 2 nights during the week. I’m away for family reasons and I’d let them down if I didn’t go. I didn’t have much notice so I only told her about a week in advance; it is also something I want/look forward to do. We didn’t have plans or anything though so I wasn’t cancelling anything.
I appreciate the want to be together/hang out, however, she turned this into blaming me for never including her in things and in general getting angry. I had actually invited her to one of the weekends and she declined (again probably anxiety because of my family being there..)
I took insult to her being a bit ridiculous about it and blaming me and now we’re not talking for 2 days. I’m thinking this is probably a good time to just end it. Our fights are increasingly silly and more common and I am losing the energy to participate. Thoughts? This is my first proper relationship and I’m terrified of doing it.
1 comment
Hey just take it as a learning experience, like you said you two are still young. Effort,communication, & actions are the some of the most important parts of a relationship. Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about breaking up with her though based on the tone at the end of the post. Life goes on, find someone who’ll also love your family and isn’t afraid to talk to them and get to know them especially after years of being together